


Shot in the Dark

by Born2read



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-14 15:58:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Born2read/pseuds/Born2read
Summary: Derek finds himself in debt and starts a band. Casey gets involved. Both have grown from their D-Rock days, and maybe they'll learn to get along. Or, more likely, they'll bicker and fight and deny any type of friendship. Either way, they're determined to win the Battle of the Bands.





	1. Chapter 1

He hadn't intended on starting another band.

 

It starts like this. Derek's first year at Queen's, he wants the full experience, so he goes to a lot of different parties. At one of these parties, he gets in deep with some douchebag fraternity in a game of poker (how was he supposed to know _how much_ they were betting; it wasn't until after Derek had lost a lot of hands that he realized that these people had been talking higher numbers than he'd had thought).

 

The fraternity also happens to have some rather bulky members. That is, they aren't large, but they have enough muscle mass to rival The Fridge.

 

He tries to explain that he didn't _know_. They lack sympathy, and he has to wonder if this is something that they often do to unsuspecting first-year students. He gives them a twenty, because that's all he has on him, and asks if he can't work out some payment plan.

The next day he's in the dining hall trying to figure out to make some quick cash, what he can borrow from his dad, and if he can get a job on campus to help pay off his debt. On his way out, a flyer on the notice board catches his eye.

 

_ANNUAL KINGSTON BATTLE OF THE BANDS_

_MARCH 12th_

_Auditions_

_When: Oct 1_

_Where: Isabel Bader Performing Arts Center - Theatre -- Queen’s University_

_Contact Dr. T for your audition time slot by September 20_

 

It was all well and good, and not incredibly noteworthy for Derek. But, at the bottom of the flyer in large, bold letters:

 

**Grand Prize: $10,000**

 

 _That_ was worth paying attention to. That kind of money would pay off his debt, and Derek figures, still have some money left over to tuck away. It was an easy way to make some money without a whole lot of scheming.

 

So, Derek started a band.

 

….

 

Derek is a reasonably smart guy. He might not always try, which is why his grades might make you think differently about his intelligence, but he's smart. Smart enough to realize that part of the reason he did so well in Clash of the Bands was that D-Rock had looked cool, and were decent enough with their instruments.

 

He was also smart enough to realize that lyrics like "Nah nah nah nah nah" weren't exactly going to win him a Grand Prize at a place like Queen's. Which meant some effort would have to go into picking his bandmates.

 

It also meant, he'd later find, that he'd have to be willing to negotiate on the band name.

Turns out that his roommate, Jackson, plays the guitar. He has a YouTube video, too, that he can show Derek. He's talented, and he's got halfway decent taste in music, so he's in without much fuss. They still need to find a drummer and a lead singer. Derek fills the spot of bassist.

 

They decide to hold auditions. Getting the word out was easy enough, finding a place for tryouts was less stressful than Derek had expected. All in all, he had a good feeling about this plan. It was going surprisingly well.

 

That is, until the actual auditions.

 

The first two hours were filled with people who had been told that they had talent but lacked any real skill. Derek was starting to see his dream of earning that prize money crumble.

 

Then, of course, there was Casey.

 

At some point during the auditions, she had sneaked into the small auditorium, sitting in the back. It was distracting, knowing that she was sitting back there without knowing why, but Derek forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He could get into a verbal spar with Casey later, something that he finds he is looking forward to.

 

He's seen Casey around campus since the day they both moved to Queen's, but they have no class together, their dorms aren't near one another, and he hasn't been able to come up with a decent excuse to go and see her. He's not even sure what her dorm room number is and, of course, he can't just call her up and ask her because that's not what they do.

 

She never reached out, either. So, Derek put it off; next thing you know they had their separate lives, and it was getting even harder to find a reason to go and see her.

 

At some point, while a tuba player-how that happened he's not sure, their add had been pretty specific about what they were looking for-murders Black Honey by Thrice, Derek wonders if Casey knows that he knows she's back there. He glances back to try and catch her eye, but she's gone. Somehow Derek had missed her slipping out of the room. Disappointment fills him, and he tries not to think about it while shooing the tuba player off the stage, with much irritation.

 

They order a pizza, and it's while they're eating that they find their drummer. They were able to borrow a set to have on stage for anyone interested, since potential drummers would have a harder time lugging up their kit on and off the stage, taking up too much time. Jackson and Derek were in the middle of debating the merits of working with a two-man band when a shy looking girl pulled herself on stage. She was short, probably around five feet; she had bright green eyes and curly red hair. Neither teen noticed her, but she scurried over to the drum set and practically fell onto the stool. "Hi," she started shyly. She didn't speak up loud enough to be heard, so the boys kept on with their conversation. She huffed, blowing some hair out of her face as she did.

 

The redhead adjusted a few things, picked up the drumsticks and after careful consideration, started playing the drum portion of Hot For Teacher by Van Halen. _Now_ she has their attention, but she hardly notices.

 

After a brief, whispered conversation with Jackson, Derek interrupts her drum solo, "Stop." She stutters on the beat for pulling back from the instrument. She looks at him expectantly. "What's your name?"

 

"Margo," she says in a small voice, Derek has to strain to hear her. All he hears is 'Go.' Figuring it's a nickname, he goes with it.

 

He grins, "Welcome to the band, Go."

 

Margo grins, too, and quickly scurries off stage. She provides Derek and Jackson with her number and email address (Derek also learns her actual name), and they invite her to hang out and help them find their lead singer.

 

They have quite a few people show up to fill the spot of drummer, but the trio turns them away. They're in the middle of a debate about closing the auditions for the day when Casey makes her way on stage. She's wearing an outfit reminiscent of her Babe Raider outfit-all black and leather-that Derek has to force himself to roll her eyes at her appearance. Thankfully, the reaction is muscle memory to All Things Casey, so he's able to manage despite his mouth going suddenly dry.

 

Jackson sits up, and Derek feels mild irritation for his roommate. "You're still looking for a lead singer?" She confirms. Jackson shrugs, looking slightly disappointed; Casey sounds as perky and preppy as she always has. She doesn't exactly fit the kind of music they were looking to play.

 

"Nope," Derek says. Jackson and Margo give him a look. Casey narrows her eyes at Derek, and he sighs. "One sec," he murmurs to his bandmates. He climbs onto the stage, pulling Casey to the side.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"I would think even you could figure that out, Derek. I'm auditioning."

 

It was sick how much he had missed this. "Sorry, Case, but we're looking for people with talent," he plows on before she can interrupt, "and while I admit you saved the Clash of the Bands; this is another league, and you don't quite fit in with our vibe."

 

She glances down at her outfit. "I think I got an idea on what you're looking to play," she counters. Derek recognizes the defiant stance. "Besides, you can't win with lyrics like 'nah, nah, nah she said it was over nah, nah, nah."

 

He scoffs, even though he'd had the same thought. "Yeah, Case. I figured that out."

 

Casey looks smug. "So, I wrote some songs."

 

"You can't win on that sappy, chick shit you write," Derek counters, ignoring the way his stomach flips when she glares at him.

 

"Well, from what I can tell, you're not the only one making decisions."

 

"Casey," and he hates how it almost sounds like a wine. "Why do you want to try out for my band, anyway?"

 

She shrugs, but he knows her well enough that there's something she's not going to cop to. "Let me audition, and then when you're not happy with what I've got, you can take great joy in denying me. Okay?"

 

Derek let out a frustrated sigh, then tossed his hands up in the air. "Alright, alright. If you want to embarrass yourself, be my guest." He made his way back over to Jackson and Margo who were looking at him, curiously. "She's auditioning," he informed them in a voice that made clear he wasn't pleased about it.

 

"I've written some original songs," Casey said, beaming again. Jackson sighed. He and Derek had the same expectation for what she would be performing with them. She gripped some sheets in her hands, "I thought maybe you could get a better idea if you played the music, too but I can do it acapella."

 

"You wrote out music, too?" Margo sounds marginally impressed. Casey nods and the girls exchange a smile. "Can I see?"

 

Derek gives the newcomer a look that says this is not approved, but she ignores him. Casey hands over the sheet music and even from where he's sitting, Derek can see that she's impressed. She shrugs at Derek and Jackson, the latter shrugging as well. "Might as well," Jackson said. "Watching other people play has made me want to play. Cleanse the ears," he jokes.

 

Derek grumbles, but he gets up, too. They'd prepared for this, having instruments on hand, but Casey had been the first to ask to play with them. He suspects Jackson appreciates this. He's reluctant to take his sheet music, but figures the sooner they get this over with, the sooner they'll be able to work on finding their actual lead singer.

 

There aren't any words on the music, so Derek has no idea what's coming. Casey explains, as they get situated, "I wrote this with a guy's voice in mind, but it can work with either; or if you like it we can play with it..." She trails off, realizing she might be getting ahead of herself.

When they're ready, Casey starts.

 

" _I don't know what you had in mind,_

 _but here we stand on opposing sides._ "

 

Derek is ready to roll her eyes and sigh. Typical Casey. There was a soft beat from Margo before Casey continued.

 

" _Let's go to war._ "

 

And then she blew his mind. He'd known when they did Battle of the Bands that Casey could sing in a more rock tone, but this was something else.

 

_"Let's go to war!_

_We arm ourselves with the wrongs we've done_

_name them off one by one.”_

 

Derek already knew that she had a great voice, but he never knew she could sing like this. It would be the first of many shocks to come.

 

_“Everything you say,_

_and everything you do_

_you push it in, and you cut me down_

_and you cut me down_

_screaming at the ones we love_

_like we forgot who we can trust_

_screaming at the top of our lungs_

_on the grounds where we feel safe_

_Do we feel safe? Do we feel safe?"_

 

Derek glanced over at the other two; Jackson looked cautiously optimistic whereas Margo was grinning back at Derek, ecstatic. It looked like Casey would be in the band.

 

_"Hush, my baby, make no sound_

_maybe we can wait for each other out_

_it's a cold war_

_let's go to war_

_with every settled score_

_I thought that fighting meant fighting for_

_but you turned it around_

_but you turned it around."_

 

The song continued, and Derek couldn’t believe that he _wanted_ Casey in the band. "You got any more songs?" Jackson asked when they'd finished. Casey turned to see their reactions. At his question, she nodded, face lit up. "Enough for a set, if you wanted. Not that we'd get to play enough at the Talent Show, but..." Casey trailed off, shrugging.

 

"Right," Jackson nodded, and Derek could see the faraway look in his eyes. Derek couldn't blame him; a few college gigs could make them all some easy money.

 

"Alright," Derek said, grudgingly, "you're in the band, McDonald." She bounced, squealing a little. Derek felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. "Don't make me regret this," he sighed, but he was once more hopeful about their chances of winning.

 

* * *

 

**a/n: The song that Casey sings is actually _Go to War_ by Nothing More. Would have written my own song, but I don't have that much talent. As usual, I don't own the LWD characters, or the rights to the song.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Punch Drunk."

 

"TBD."

 

"Gracious Snob."

 

"Subpoena of Proclivity."

 

"What? Now you're just saying words. Budget Identity?"

 

"Deep. What about Four Cadence?"

 

"Acrid Albatross!"

 

"You want to name the band after a bird?" Casey asked, curiously.

 

Jackson shrugged. "They have the longest wingspan of any bird."

 

"I still think we could go with D-Rock," Derek said from his seat.

 

Casey rolled her eyes. "It's not the same band, Derek. There's no Sam and no Ralph; new band, new name. You were outvoted." He glowered at her, and she stuck her tongue out. Derek scratched his nose with his middle finger in her direction. Casey pulled out a tube of chapstick, dabbed some on her middle finger, and applied it with her finger in his direction.

 

He grinned.

 

They had spent more time trying to come up with a name for the band than they did putting together the group. They were at their first official band meeting; each had arrived with ten band name suggestions, and they'd ditched all forty. When Derek had seen Casey's list suggestions, he'd glared at her. "You can write songs, they have decent titles, but you can't come up with one halfway decent band name."

 

She looked at her list, narrowing her eyes at Derek. They'd been bickering since.

 

It felt like something was clicking back into place for Derek, though he wasn't quite sure why. No one gave as good a fight as Casey.

 

"Mango Parade" Margo suggested.

 

"Four Albatross," Jackson countered. Derek and Casey exchanged a look, grinning. He shrugged. "Albatrosses are totally rock and roll."

 

Margo glanced between Casey and Derek--who have alternated between ignoring one another and arguing since the beginning of the meeting. She looked thoughtful. "The Bickering Albatrosses?" She suggested.

 

"Razor's Edge." Derek threw out.

 

"Too emo," Casey said. He would have argued, but she had a point, and Margo and Jackson were nodding in agreement.

 

"Anything to get away from the birds," Derek joked. Jackson shoved him in the arm, but he was smiling.

 

"What about Axiomatic Division?" Casey glanced at the other three, waiting for their reactions. Margo nodded. Derek looked thoughtful.

 

Jackson grinned. "It does sound rock and roll," he agreed.

 

"Axiomatic Division," Derek agreed, even though he wasn’t entirely sure what ‘axiomatic’ meant.

 

...

 

"I think we should open with a cover, or two." Casey was saying. They were in another band meeting. This time, they were at a small cafe on campus, squished into a small booth. Jackson and Margo were shoved into one side of the table, forcing Casey and Derek to share. The short elbow fight for arm space had since subsided, and they'd finally got on track.

 

Derek was distracted by the fact that Casey's entire leg was currently pressed against him.

 

"Maybe close with another cover," she continued. "Sandwich the originals in between, once we have their attention."

 

Derek hated to admit that it was a good idea, so he didn't. Jackson, however, had no sense of restraint. "Not bad," he nodded. "Of course, now that means we have to agree on which covers."

 

"We could do Zombie," Margo suggested, cringing a little at the looks from Derek and Jackson. "The Bad Wolves covered it, and it was good," she defended.

 

"Maybe," Derek conceded, scribbling the song down on a napkin. He hadn't brought a notebook like a Keener Extraordinaire who shall remain nameless.

 

"If we can get one of you two in front of the mic," Casey began glancing between the two guys in the group. "We could maybe do Judas?" Derek and Jackson exchanged a look. Neither was particularly fond of leading a song, even if it was just the one. Casey’s lower lip jutted out in a pout. “I know you both can sing,” she huffed.

 

Without even discussing it, the boys went into a round of rock, paper, scissors. Derek played scissors, Jackson played rock. "Best two out of three?" He pleaded. Margo and Casey exchanged a look, both rolling their eyes. They played again, this time they both played rock. They went a third time; Derek played rock, Jackson played paper. "Dammit."

 

Casey grinned. "Great, we'll add that to our repertoire." She wrote  _ Judas _ neatly in her notebook. For no particular reason, Derek was tempted to elbow her in the arm and mess up the writing. He refrained and thought Casey would be proud of him if she knew.

 

An hour later, the band had a list of songs that they would begin practicing so they could get a feel for what they liked, didn't like, and what sounded right coming from them. They had about ten covers and seven originals. Casey was looking at the list, doubtfully. "We're going to cut it down," Derek promised. "But playing a bit of variety will help us decide what to play for the audition."

 

"I know," she agreed, still seeming unsure. "But, the auditions are coming up very quickly, and we want to be able to play a couple songs well enough that we make it all the way to the battle of the bands. Maybe we should narrow our focus, at least until after we've made it into the contest."

 

"I think Casey's right," Margo piped up. Aside from quietly suggesting a few songs, Margo hadn't said much during the meeting. Derek had noticed she did pay attention, and generally, when she did offer an opinion, it wasn't a spur of the moment thing. She thought before she spoke, the opposite of himself (and sometimes Casey). The brunette to his right offered Margo a grin, glad for the support. Derek halfheartedly glared at them both.

 

"Alright. Case, pick three of your favorite songs, and at the next practice, we will pick one or two to focus on, deciding as a group. Jackson, Margo, and I will each pick one cover from this list, and we'll be down to about five to work on for the audition."

 

"Does this mean you've found somewhere we can practice?"

 

Derek didn't answer. The truth was, he hadn't found somewhere for them to practice, yet. But he was working on it. "Almost," he lied, smoothly. "We're still negotiating." No one questioned that, and he was relieved. "Well, I've got to get to hockey practice, so I'll see you three later."

 

...

 

Two days after their second cafe meeting, Derek found a place for them to practice. He was at a party at a house that was rented by a couple of guys on the team. Someone brought up the idea of playing beer pong, and he went with one of the guys to bring in the beer pong table from the garage.

 

It was completely empty aside from an old fridge, and the beer pong table which folded and they had leaning against the wall. The perfect place for a band to practice. It took some negotiating, but eventually, Derek came to an agreement with the guys who were willing to help out a teammate (even if he was a first-year). "But if your band or your music sucks, we're rescinding the offer," Martin said after they'd agreed to let Axiomatic Division practice there. Derek was quick to agree.

 

…

 

After that, they were able to start a regular schedule of practices between classes, hockey, and whatever extracurriculars Margo and Casey have going on (Debate for Casey, and Service Club for Margo--he pays attention, he just doesn't want people to know he does).

 

It means that he sees a lot more of Casey. They bicker constantly, but he can't find it in himself to be disappointed at her constant presence. He points this out to her several times in the week by complaining, at volume, about how often he sees her. "I thought coming to college meant getting away from you."

 

"Yeah, well, you picked the same school as me, so suck it up, buttercup," Casey told him, cheerfully as she nudged his head back toward his textbooks. Somehow they had started studying together.

 

...

 

Neither of them mentioned the band or the fact that they were studying together. It wasn't even a conscious decision. Derek only realized when he was on the phone with Nora and his dad for their weekly call. It was at the end when the call starts wrapping up because he starts losing interest. "Derek," Nora called his attention as his dad handed over the phone.

 

"Hm?" He said, glancing at the remote in his hand. Surely he could finish the conversation without them noticing he was watching TV?

 

"I know you two decided that you weren't going to have anything to do with each other once you went to Queen's, but could you maybe check in on Casey. She has a lot on her plate, and you know how she gets. You were always good at getting her to relax."

 

"She seemed pretty calm when I saw her yesterday," he responded, distractedly.

 

"You saw Casey yesterday?" Nora sounded surprised.

 

"Yeah. Spacey was in my dorm for a few hours; she was trying to force me to study, I was trying to force her to take a study break." He shrugged even though Nora couldn't see him.

 

"Oh." Her tone made him pay more attention to the conversation. He couldn't place the emotion behind that simple word.

 

"I'll check in on her more," he promised, hastily. "Make sure she's not overworking herself."

 

"She keeps talking about all these clubs and things she wants to join, and I'm not sure how one person can fit any of that into their schedule."

 

Casey was always trying to stay busy and get involved. He could understand why Nora worried. "Yeah," he agreed.

 

"Then she mentioned she got a job and--"

 

"She got a job?" This was news to Derek, even though he saw Casey a minimum of three times a week. How could she fit that in between debate, band, and school?

 

Nora told him about the job that Casey had gotten acting as the liaison between students and the school for clubs that wanted money and for other issues that came up, and how it had been overwhelming her the last few weeks.

 

When he got off the phone, Derek couldn't understand why it bothered him that he didn't know she'd gotten a job. It was also when he realized that their parents had no clue how much time their kids spent together. It didn't cross his mind to wonder why he hadn't mentioned it to them; it was easy to write off as his usual disassociate from all things Casey.

 

…

 

Jackson glanced at his watch, pointedly. They were at band practice. Go was lightly tapping her drums, Derek was pacing impatiently, and Jackson was alternating between tuning his guitar and glancing at his watch. Finally, he asked, "Should we be sending a search party?"

 

"She's only ten minutes late," Margo pointed out.

 

"But it's not like her to be late," Jackson countered.

 

They were interrupted when Casey came running through the door from the house into the garage. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and she was smiling. "This," she waved sheets of paper in her hand, "is what we're auditioning with."

 

Derek crossed his arms at her. He was distracted, momentarily, by the flushed cheeks and sparkle in her eye, but it wouldn't do to let her think she can just show up late to band practice. "Casey, you're late."

 

She blinked, glancing at her watch looking ashamed. "Crap, I am. I'm sorry," she glanced back up at them gracing her bandmates with an apologetic smiling. "Inspiration hit, and I was writing; I lost track of time." She rocked back and forth on her heels until Derek sighed and broke his gaze.

 

Casey let out a breath and then started passing out sheets of music. "I had to stop and make copies at the library, and then run here," she continued explaining. Derek snatched his copy out of her hand, glancing over it quickly.

 

"Damn," Jackson said, echoing Derek's thoughts.

 

"Wait until you hear it," Casey said, grinning. It was hard not to be caught up in her enthusiasm. "Well, as long as it sounds like it does in my head," she amended. The brunette bounced excitedly.

 

"What about the lyrics?" Margo asked, scanning the music. It was impressive enough, but good music wouldn't cancel out bad lyrics.

 

"Let's play it, and you'll see."

 

They played with the tune a bit, and when they were ready launched into their first performance of the song. When they finished, Derek ran his hand through his hair. "I hate to admit this, but that was worth starting late."

 

"Hell yeah, it was!" Jackson grinned at them all. "We're so going to win this."

 

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Casey chastised them, but he could tell she was pleased.

 

They ran through another rehearsal with a few tweaks from Margo, and then they practiced the cover they had decided on. An hour later, the practice was over, and they were heading out for the evening. "Pizza?" Derek offered. He was on a kind of high from that rehearsal and wasn't quite ready to let it go.

 

Casey shrugged but Margo shook her head, red curls bouncing. "Sorry, I've got a date planned with my girlfriend already." Derek blinked at this new knowledge, but nodded and turned to Jackson.

 

"Sorry," he said, looking anything but. "I've got things to do."

 

Derek grumbled. Casey laughed at him, "Just because there's not a group doesn't mean you don't get your pizza." She shook her head, heading outside. He followed. "Come on, I'll even buy." She was in a good mood, so was he. Not to mention, she was paying for food. Derek was never one to turn down free food.

 

They ended up walking to the hole in the wall pizza place down the street. They talk about the band, Derek teases her about her color-coordinated schedule, and Casey gives him a hard time about the lack of organization in his life. "I think," she says as they sit in a booth, "some organization would bring some clarity to your life." She's studying him as she says this like there's some hidden meaning to her words. He's always been good at reading Casey, but for some reason, whatever she's hinting at goes over his head.

 

"I think a little more disruption to your schedule would bring some color to your life," he counters with a grin.

 

She laughs. "That's what I have you for, Derek."

 

He doesn't know why, but that statement does something to his stomach. It's probably nausea that they're getting along.

 

They order a pizza and cheesy bread. While they eat, Casey tells him about some guy in her English class that asked her out. "He wants to go to dinner tomorrow," she says. Again, she's studying him in that way, and Derek can't figure out why. He also can't figure out why his delicious pizza now tastes like sawdust.

 

Derek makes a face. "He sounds like a tool." For some reason, this makes Casey smile.

 

"Are you saying I shouldn't go out with him?"

 

He shrugs. "I don't care who you go out with, but when he turns out to be a tool, I'll be here saying I told you so." She narrows her eyes at him.

 

"Guess we'll find out when I go to dinner with him." She starts picking at her pizza, though she'd been complaining that she was starving a few minutes ago. Derek doesn't feel all that hungry, either. They take their food to go, two separate boxes. They walk back to the house they practice at, and Derek drives her to her dorm. As he pulls away, he can't escape the feeling that something was missing from the entire night.


	3. Chapter 3

They don't have practice the next day, but somehow Derek still ends up at Casey's dorm. "I'm studying," she tells him as soon as she sees that's him on the other side of the door. He makes a face, but nudges her out of the way, letting himself into her room.

 

She sighs, hesitating before shutting the door. "If you're going to stay, you're going to have to study." Casey drops back into her chair at her desk, "Or shut up and let me study."

 

"Where's the fun in either of those options," Derek says, tugging her ponytail as he passes by her, hopping onto her bed.

 

She makes a face at him. "Give me five minutes of peace," she compromises. "Then we can play." She says it in a tone like she's explaining to a toddler. Derek laughs but nods in agreement.

 

While she studies her textbook, furiously scribbling away at her flashcards, Derek studies her. He's been in her room a few times now since they put the band together, and there's not much else to look at. Plus, Casey in her natural habitat is an interesting sight. He'd never admit it out loud, but Derek likes this version of Casey second best (first would be when she's fighting with him, obviously). Her brown hair is pulled up into a ponytail, but it's falling out, and there are stray hairs. She's wearing comfortable clothes, an old t-shirt, and sweat pants.

 

It's not that he thinks she looks _better_ this way or anything. It's just, Casey is always so focused on looking put together. When she's like this, she's more relaxed, more... not human because Derek is loath to admit he shares a species with his stepsister, but the point is, she's comfortable. This is the real Casey; she's still high strung, but there's more to her than the appearance of perfection.

 

When she finishes her five minutes, she turns to face him blinking in surprise when she catches him staring. "Just wondering if everyone from your planet is as freaky as you," Derek quips, quickly.

 

Casey rolls her eyes. "What do you want?"

 

He shrugs, then remembers the call with their parents. "Nora says you got a job." She doesn't say anything just arches a brow at him. "When did that happen?"

 

"About two weeks ago," she admits. "Why do you care?"

 

"I don't." They're quiet, and he rolls over on her bed to stare at the ceiling. "Only, you have band practice, you study like crazy, now a job, and that extracurricular thing--"

 

"Debate--"

 

Derek waves a dismissive hand, "yeah, that thing. So, are you not eating or sleeping?"

 

Casey scoffs, "Of course I eat and sleep." He sits up to stare at her; she's never been a good liar, and he's looking for her tells.

 

"I don't want to lose this thing because you made yourself sick overscheduling."

 

She sticks her tongue out at him, and he drops back onto the bed. "Why are you doing this, anyway?"

 

"I told you, I don't want to lose because--"

 

"Not checking up on me, or whatever. The band."

 

"Case, did you not see the grand prize?"

 

"So, its the money?"

 

There's a tone in her voice that he doesn't quite understand. Derek rolls over on his side to try and read her. She's studying him just as carefully. "Pretty much."

 

"Thought it might be some way to meet more girls or something," she admits. It's annoying how little he's able to read her right now.

 

"Just an added bonus."

 

Her eyes narrow and her neutral expression turns into a frown. "Figures. Pig." She huffs, turning back to her desk. He almost feels guilty, though he can't quite place why.

 

Before he can think of a way to get them back to the status quo (though he can't figure out what he's done to upset her this time), Casey catches a glance at the clock on her desk. "Crap," she mutters, rushing to stand and nearly falling over in the process. "Time for you to go."

 

"But I just got here."

 

"Do I look like I care? I have to get ready, and I'm going to be late."

 

"Late twice in one week; are you sure that job isn't getting to you?"

 

"Oh, shove it." Derek blinks at her in surprise, but she ignores him. "Bye, Derek."

 

"Where are you going, anyway?" He rolls back onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and making a show about how he's not really in the mood to go anywhere. He hears her annoyed huff, and it makes him smile.

 

"I have a date, remember. We talked about it yesterday?"

 

"I remember you saying words, and I pretending to listen." He just doesn't know how not to be an ass when it comes to Casey. "You're actually going out with that guy?"

 

"If you're talking about Marcus from my English class, yes." Her voice sounds a little muffled, and he realizes she's moved into the closet to change.

 

A foul taste fills Derek's mouth. "Why would you want to go out on a date."

 

Unbeknownst to Derek, Casey's head peeks out from the closet to give him a frustrated glare. He turns to look at her when she speaks. "Because he's nice, he asked me to dinner, and while some will say I've got quite a bit of patience, I'm getting tired of waiting for some people to get a clue. So, why not give a nice guy a chance and go to dinner with him?" The brunette head disappears back into the closet, the door slamming shut behind her.

 

"So you don't actually like him?" Derek feels a smile creeping across his face, though he isn't quite sure why.

 

It's silent for a minute, then Casey emerges wearing a simple form-fitting red dress. It's mostly zipped, but she stops and stands next to the bed, piling her hair on top of her head and out of the way. "Can you zip me up, please?" Derek sits up, pulling the zipper the rest of the way up as she continues, "I like him fine, but maybe I'm not incredibly eager to date him. We'll see if tonight changes anything."

 

She shivers as the zipper closes. "Make sure you bring a jacket," Derek tells her, his mouth dry. "Isn't it a little unfair to this poor schmuck to date him, when you don't actually want to date him."

 

"It's just dinner, we're not dating." This was a new approach for Casey, and Derek wasn't sure how to deal with this version of Casey. "If it doesn't go well, then I'll just tell him not interested, and we'll both go our separate ways, but I deserve the chance to find out if it could be something."

 

Derek grumbled something about her expectations as she moved into the bathroom, swiftly applying makeup. "Who is this guy, anyway, that needs to get a clue?" Thinking about the guys she hangs out with, that he knows of, he's not left with many options. Certainly, none that he approves of." He makes a face, "You're not crushing on Jackson, are you, because that could seriously throw off the band dynamics."

 

Her head pokes out of the bathroom, one eye in full makeup and the other still bare. It's a startling look, particularly as she's giving him one of her death glares. "Derek, if anyone in the band started dating, I think our group would be fine."

 

"It is Jackson!"

 

"It's not Jackson, and the fact that you're too thick to figure it out is why I need to go on this date."

 

He opens his mouth to respond to that, but he's not quite sure what to say, so he promptly closes it again. He doesn't say another word as Casey shoos him out of her dorm room, and he heads to his own.

 

It shouldn't matter to her if he can guess who she wants to date. The whole conversation plays over in his mind, and Derek can't escape the feeling that he's missing something in the entire exchange.

 

...

 

"She's _still_ not talking to me," Derek mutters, missing the basketball hoop.

 

"I thought you didn't want Casey talking to you," Jackson says in a tone that implies he doesn't believe that to be true.

 

"I don't want Casey talking to me," Derek amends. "Except when she's not talking to me, I know she's mad and only bad things can come about when she's mad. I only want Casey fighting with me."

 

"You guys are weird."

 

"Yeah, well." Derek didn't have an answer for that one.

 

It was two weeks after Derek saw Casey in her dorm. He'd gone out that night, met up with a girl in the hallway of his dorm. On a whim, Derek asks her to dinner. It's not his fault he ended up at the same restaurant as Casey and her date. It led to an awkward double date, a bunch of death glares from Casey, and one of their big arguments where, yet again, Derek wasn't entirely sure what it was they were arguing about. They'd had a couple of practices since then, but Casey had managed to participate without saying a single word to him. Not one disparaging remark! They still studied together, and she studiously ignored all of his attempts at distraction.

 

Casey is pissed, Derek just wasn't entirely sure why.

 

Jackson shakes his head at Derek as if he knows something that Derek doesn't. He really hates that look.

 

By the time Casey is ready to start talking to him again, it's Derek's turn to be pissed. As far as he can tell, he did nothing wrong! It figures that just as he's stopped trying to get her to yell at him, Casey turns around and wants to speak with him. When he returns the favor by offering the silent treatment, Margo throws her hands up in exasperation.

 

Two practices later, Casey is giving him Big Sad Eyes (Trademark Casey McDonald), and even Jackson is getting fed up. "I'm not entirely sure what the issue is," he tells Derek at the start of practice, "but for the love of god, figure out a way to fix it."

 

"Why do I have to be the one to fix it?" Derek grumbles.

 

"Because, she tried making nice, and you turned it around."

 

"Three weeks of the silent treatment was unnecessary." Derek hates that he almost sounds like he's whining. So not rock and roll.

 

"Did you really tell her date that she wouldn't put out, so he might as well move on because she was going to be joining a convent after she graduates?" Derek shrugs and Jackson rolls his eyes. "Did you also tell him that Casey was released from a mental institution recently?"

 

"Okay, okay; I'll fix it," Derek grumbled, breaking away. You'd think Casey would be used to this kind of behavior from him, honestly. He tries to approach Casey before they can start, but she shoves a piece of paper at him. Margo and Jackson get theirs handed to them.

 

"You wrote something new?" He sounds surprised. "We need to work on our audition pieces."

 

"We need to practice, and working on something new will be good for that." Casey snapped back. Derek sighed, but they got to work testing out the music before giving it a run.

 

Once again, Casey blew him away with the raw, emotional start to the song.

 

_Oooooh, I miss the misery._

_ I've been a mess since you stayed _

_ I've been a wreck since you changed _

_ Don't let me get in your way _

_ I miss the lies and the pain _

_ The fights that keep us awake _

_I'm telling you_

 

It still surprised him the amount of anger that Casey could put into a song when she was usually so peppy. He never thought she'd be able to pull off an alt-metal yell like that.

 

_ I miss the bad things _

_ The way you hate me _

_ I miss the screaming _

_ The way that you blame me _

_ Miss the phone calls _

_ When it's your fault _

_ I miss the late nights _

_ Don't miss you at all _

_ I like the kick in the face _

_ And the things you do to me _

_ I love the way that it hurts _

_I don't miss you, I miss the misery_

 

There was a lot of anger behind the music, and Derek wondered if maybe the song was a little applicable to them. Of course, he doesn't actually _hate_ Casey, but he could believe that she enjoyed their fights as much as he does. He catches Jackson's face, and Derek can tell the guitarist is thinking something along the same lines.

 

He sighs. Okay, so maybe he does need to be the one to fix things.

 

...

 

The debate team is putting on a public debate for students to attend. He's not entirely sure of the topic, but Derek decides to attend. He finds Casey before the exhibition is about to start; she's pacing, clutching her notecards in one hand. It's been two days since the angry song, and he still hasn't figured out how to fix things with them.

 

When she catches sight of him, Casey sends him a death glare. She stomps up to him, grabbing him by the elbow to try and steer him to the door. "What are you doing here?" She hisses.

 

"It's my brotherly duty to support you at school functions."

 

Casey makes a face. "Stepbrother."

 

"Same difference," he throws her words back at him, and they're silent for a minute. "I wanted to watch."

 

"Derek, I'm the only girl on the team; you're not going to meet anyone so you can leave."

 

"I don't know if you really qualify as a girl," He volleys back, yanking his arm out of her grasp. She'd given up on trying to steer him out of the room.

 

"Der _ek_ ," Casey snaps, punctuating the cry with a roll of her eyes.

 

"Anyway, I might meet a girl in the audience."

 

"Anyone coming to attend this would have more than enough brain cells to realize that dating you is a terrible idea. You're still wasting your time."

 

"You think I can't pull a smart chick?"

 

"When you're still referring to women as chicks, no."

 

They bicker like that until, suddenly, it's time to start. Casey yells his name again, "I needed to focus on preparing!"

 

"Casey, knowing you, you are over prepared. What you needed was someone to take your mind off your nerves." He smirks, "You're welcome."

 

She huffs at him, but he sees the corner of her lips quirking upward in a smile. Things go back to normal after that. Well, as normal as things ever are between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song, for any unfamiliar, is I Miss the Misery by Halestorm. I wish I were creative enough to write a decent song, but I’m not so this is what you get.


	4. Chapter 4

He can't quite figure out why, but bickering with Casey again sets Derek's world to rights. His coach notices it after practice commenting, that "You're playing much better this week, Venturi. Keep it up."

 

Jackson notices in their dorm room. "Patch things up with Casey, then?"

 

He's playing a video game and isn't paying much attention to the conversation. "Yeah--why do you ask?"

 

"Because you're easy to live with again."

 

Derek stops to look at his roommate causing his character to die. He was done playing, anyway. "Not sure what one has to do with the other." Jackson's giving him that look again, the one that says he knows something that Derek doesn't. He can feel his chest tighten like he's about to be made aware of something that's going to shatter his world view. Derek's stomach twists, and something in Jackson's expression shifts.

 

"Just all that anticipation of trouble from her wrath made you a little moody," Jackson says lightly. Something about his tone, about the way he pauses before he says it gives Derek the impression that he was going to say something else entirely. He usually hates being kept in the dark, but he figures that this is something he can live without knowing.

 

…

 

Marcus starts coming to practice. He's not sure why, but this irritates him. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Casey spent weeks mad at him for 'ruining' her date, yet the guy is clearly still interested (it never crosses his mind to consider that, maybe, she was mad at him for something else entirely).

 

Derek glares at him. The guy is clearly mental if that's the case. While he doesn't necessarily care if Casey chooses to date unstable people, he does care that she brings home the people she dates. It's for his love of Marti that he doesn't want Casey dating this guy (duh). Derek doesn't want Casey to bring home Marcus, have the guy snap, and suddenly his whole family is dead (he can take Casey in this scenario because it's not like he cares).

 

The interloper doesn't seem to notice Derek's glaring. They take a break halfway through rehearsal, and he says something that makes Casey laugh. "Mar _cus_ ," his name split perfectly in half. It's not like he has ownership to two syllable names that are so easily split, but there's something strange about hearing Casey break someone else's name like that.

 

Because you shouldn't treat potential dates like you do your (step)brothers. Right, that's where the weirdness is (and okay, maybe he doesn't have ownership over the way Casey says his name, but he's never really been good at sharing, so there _might_ be a _small_ ( _teeny tiny_ ) part of him that wants that inflection to be reserved for him, and him alone).

 

"Casey," he barks, interrupting whatever Marcus was going to say in reply. Derek ignores Jackson's look (he really should find a new expression). "Can we get back to band practice, please." He shoots daggers at Marcus. "We really shouldn't have anyone watching, anyway." He lowers his voice, "what if he's a spy?"

 

Casey rolls her eyes. "You didn't seem to have a problem with having an audience yesterday when Jenna was watching." There's a glint to her eyes as she steps toward him. There's some anger, some resentment there, but he's not sure _why_. "Or Clarissa the day before that. Kelly two days before that."

 

Strange how she knew their names, but he didn't. See, he did have a problem with them watching. The band was personal; he didn't know these girls, aside from a brief flirtation. He certainly hadn't _invited_ them to come to watch. They took it upon themselves. While he would prefer that they didn't have an audience (particularly Marcus, but that includes the girls that stop by), he wasn't going to ruin his chances with any of them by asking them to leave. He's also not about to admit that he wasn't interested in them watching.

 

"That's different," he argues. Because it is.

 

"How?"

 

He hadn't realized that they'd moved closer. They were squared off, just like old times. Before he can answer, though, Marcus interrupts. "I should get going anyway." He looks morbidly fascinated by their showdown, even though it had just begun. "I'll see you in class, Casey." She smiles and waves.

 

As soon as Marcus is gone, she turns back to him so fast he's surprised she doesn't have whiplash. "Could you have been any ruder?"

 

Derek pretends to consider the question. "You're right." He marvels at the shocked look on her face. "That was a pretty subpar performance. I'll be sure to take up a notch the next time I see him. Maybe stick my finger in my nose and wipe it on his shirt."

 

Casey makes a disgusted sound, throwing her hands up in the air. Jackson cuts in before she can say anything, though. "How about we get back to practice." His expression is somewhere between amused and exasperated.

 

Derek forgot that they were there. Funny how that happens.

 

Margo, eager to make peace, tacks on, "How about nobody has anyone come to watch. It tends to create… distractions." She smiles serenely.

 

"I won't if he won't." Casey bites out. Derek gives a curt nod feeling much happier. He didn't exactly win whatever battle they were having, but he didn't lose.

 

…

 

Three days later they're mid-song when two guys walk into the garage. His gaze cuts to Casey--oblivious to their audience--and then back to the guys. They're both taller than him, one is a head taller than the other; the taller one is blonde, the other is Hispanic with a short buzz cut. Both look like they spend more time in the weight room than they did anything else.

 

They wait until the song finishes, clapping their hands mockingly. Margo throws her hands up in frustration, anticipating another Derek and Casey showdown no doubt. "I thought we said no audiences," she mutters to herself. Casey looks confused, though, so he knows they aren't here for her.

 

"Venturi," the taller one says, and Derek gets a sick feeling in his stomach. "Nice little set up you got here." He smiles, but it doesn't strike Derek as being particularly friendly.

 

Casey is glancing between him and the other two as they step closer. He recognizes the Greek letters on their matching sweatshirts. "Hey," Derek says, nervously. He sets his instrument aside, moving to meet with them. No way is he letting them spill in front of Casey the fact that he owes someone money. "Want to chat outside?"

 

He's grateful. They clearly don't want witnesses anymore than he does. It's this fact that prompts him to follow them out of the garage and around to the side of the house; they can't beat him up knowing that there'd be others to identify them as the culprits, right? "You owe Oliver some money," Buzz Cut starts out when they've stopped walking.

 

Derek can't help but laugh, sounding slightly hysterical. "What are you, the mob?" He snickers. "Yeah, I owe Oliver some money. I'm working on it."

 

"He's impatient." They don't seem as amused as he feels; can't they see how ridiculous their act is? Like they aren't college students.

 

"I'm working on it," he promises. He reaches for his wallet, and they both take a step toward him. "Calm down," he puts one hand up. Thankfully his hand is steady, despite the bundle of nerves. "I'm reaching for my wallet." He pulls it out, digging out the little cash that he has. "This is all I have right now."

 

Tall Blonde snatches it from his hand, counting it. "Doesn't look like much."

 

How many times does he have to say he's working on it? "Look, I'm entering the Battle of the Bands. It's got a decent cash prize. With my cut, I can pay off what I owe all in one go rather than these small payments."

 

They exchange a glance. "They _were_ pretty good," shrugs Buzz Cut.

 

"Better hope you win, Venturi." Tall Blonde mutters. It's anti-climatic, but they leave. He bumps into Casey as he rounds the corner to head back inside.

 

"Jeez, Case. Watch where you're walking." His tone is sharper than he intends, but she's staring at him with Big Worried Eyes (also Trademarked Casey McDonald).

 

"Derek--" he shoves past and into the garage.

 

"Let's practice Judas once more," he suggests.

 

He bails as soon as practice is over, but he should know better. Casey isn't going to let this go. He opens the door to his dorm to find Casey sitting there at his desk, studying. She's been waiting a while; he can tell because his desk has been organized, his laundry has been folded, and somehow she managed to vacuum the floor. Jackson is on his bed, but when he sees Derek, he jumps up. He claps Derek on the shoulder, once, before leaving.

 

He has to hand it to her, though. She waits until Jackson is out the door before she stands. "Of all the irresponsible, reckless, _stupid_ things you've done--"

 

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," Derek interrupts. As if he doesn't know what this is about. He wants to find out how much she knows so he can figure out which way he can spin it.

 

She gets into his personal space and the thing that his stomach does every time she does that is simply nausea. " _Gambling_ , Derek? Honestly! Not to mention the amount you gambled away." She pokes at his chest, and Derek has a better understanding of why Ryan backed down that day. "You should know better. Gambling, foolish enough on its own, but gambling money you don't have. Derek that is so irresponsible. I don't even know where to start."

 

"Good, then don't." He drops onto his bed, hoping that will be the end of it (and knowing that it won't).

 

"Do not get cute with me, Derek Venturi."

 

He leans up, smirking. "You think I'm cute?"

 

His comment throws her; her cheeks flush pink, but she gets right back on track. "That is not what I meant, and you know it. Stop trying to change the subject."

 

"It's weird how much you sound like my mom right now," he snarks.

 

Casey rolls her eyes and falls back into his desk chair. "Derek, this is serious."

 

He sighs, swiping a palm down his face. He sits all the way up so he can look at her. "Casey, I know." It's a rare moment of honesty between them, but it's the only way she'll drop it. "I fucked up. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. I didn't know what we were betting. It happened, now I'm trying to fix it."

 

"By winning the contest?" He nods. Her face grows even more solemn. She bites at her lip, "Derek, what if we don't win?"

 

It's his turn to roll his eyes. "Casey, Casey, Casey." He doesn't have much more than that, but she looks at him expectantly. "You and I are the most competitive people I know," she grins, "how can we lose?" The moment of honesty is over; he doesn't want to admit that he's scared of finding out what happens if he loses. "Anyway, there's bound to be a second place prize, right?"

 

...

 

A week later, he's walking into the dining hall when he catches sight of Casey. What throws him is that Tall Blonde is sitting across from her. His arms are on the table, leaning toward Casey. She's leaning back against the chair, her arms folded. Even from her profile, Derek can tell she's frowning. He can recognize the tension in her shoulders (he's an expert, after all, at recognizing a ticked off Casey when he sees one).

 

He sits down one table away. Neither of them notices him, but he can hear most of their conversation. "--don't think I can help you," Casey says.

 

"Isn't this your job," Tall Blonde asks, trying to mask his irritation.

 

Casey huffs. "My job is to act as a liaison--that's it. I have no obligations to any member of the student body to go above and beyond to get you the funding you've requested. I'm not even particularly convinced that the Kappas _need_ the amount you've requested. Have you tried turning to alumni?" She starts packing up her lunch, and Derek can see her hands are shaking. Whatever part of the conversation he's missed, it made Casey angry.

 

Tall Blonde takes a deep breath. "Casey,"

 

"Adam," she says, evenly.

 

"Sharon said that you were vital in getting the funding that she needed for the gardening club. Are you biased against fraternities or something?"

 

Casey narrows her eyes. "Do not even insinuate that I would choose to deny you funding because I have a problem with fraternities. You are so incredibly off base, it's laughable. It's not even my decision which groups the money goes to--"

 

"But you have some influence." Casey hesitates, and Adam takes this as confirmation. "So, if you wanted to, you can make an argument on our behalf."

 

"But I do not want to." Casey enunciates, clearly.

 

"Can we, maybe, discuss it over dinner."

 

"What?" Casey hisses, incensed (Derek shouldn't even know what that word means, but he does). It's amusing how little this Adam guy can read her. She starts to slide out of her seat, grabbing for her chair. Adam stands, blocking her exit. His hand is on his arm, and Derek sees red. "Let go, please," Casey says, calmly.

 

"Think about dinner?" Adam offers, flashing a smile. Derek stands, and Casey's eyes flick over to him.

 

"Thought about it. No, thank you. Please let me go now." Adam turns, catching sight of Derek.

 

"Your boyfriend doesn't like you having friends?" He guesses.

 

"He's not my-- what-- that's not even--" Casey sputters, and if the situation were different, Derek might have laughed. "I don't have a boyfriend, I just don't want to go to dinner with you."

 

"Think she asked you to let go of her," Derek says, moving toward them. Casey tugs her arm free. Adam sighs.

 

"Alright." Casey lets out a sigh of relief. Adam turns to Derek, "how's your band doing?"

 

"Fine."

 

"Good. Heard some other Queen's bands are participating." He pretends to think about it, "in fact, I think a few of the Kappas put together a group for the competition. Hope your good enough to earn that money, Venturi." He smiled at them both. "I'll see you later, Casey, we've still got to discuss funding." Casey glares at him, and Adam takes his leave.

 

...

 

"They're good," Margo whispers. Derek wants to snap at her because he can clearly hear that they're talented. He doesn't because it isn't her fault that he's going to get beaten to a pulp.

 

It's audition day for Battle of the Bands. Derek's already a bundle of nerves (he's thrown up four times already, and there's nothing in his stomach beside a few mints and some water). _Kappa Tunes_ (he’s not even sure their dumb name is enough to knock them out of the competition) is on stage for their audition. For something put together pretty last minute, they sound great. He can only imagine what they'll sound like come March for the actual competition. His stomach twists at the thought.

 

"I don't understand," Casey whispers from his other side. "Why would they try and beat you for the money."

 

Derek shrugs. "They get ten thousand dollars on top of the money that I owe them." She huffs, irritably. "Plus, I think they might be trying to add interest, and it's not like there's anything I can do about it if that's what they want to do."

 

Casey gives him this _look_. It pulls at his stomach. "You could--"

 

"I'm not going to snitch, Case." She gives him another look but doesn't bring it up again. Instead, she returns to her paper bag breathing. Jackson has been pacing behind where they're seated. Margo is the only one who looks calm, but every now and then Derek catches her drumming with her forefingers on her knees.

 

The Kappas finish their audition, and the judges whisper together for a few minutes while they clear the stage. " _Axiomatic Division_ , you’re up." Casey gives him a frightened looking smile before Jackson ushers them all on stage.

 

They set up quickly, and when they get the go-ahead, they start to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to avoid author notes as much as possible, but: I'll try to update this story as much as possible, however the next few months I'll be studying for the bar and I'm not sure how much writing time I'll have. I'm intent on finishing this, and I'll do my best not to go more than a few weeks without an update, but I make no promises. That said, come August I fully intend on getting to a regular update schedule and until I start full time study, I'll try and update more frequently to make up for the in between.


	5. Chapter 5

They opened with a cover of  _ All Around Me _ by Flyleaf. Derek tried watching the judges, but it was too hard to concentrate on playing and trying to interpret their reaction. They were playing well, though, so he decided to focus on that.

 

They sandwiched in Casey's original; this time, Derek risked a peek at the judges. Even though they didn't recognize the song, he caught a couple of them bobbing their heads now and then. He grinned.

 

They closed their audition with a cover of  _ Judas  _ by Fozzy. He was nervous about singing up front, but they'd worked Casey's voice into the song, and they'd been practicing long enough that Derek was only marginally surprised when it sounded pretty good in the auditorium. After, they waited while the judges wrote up their notes. "The song in the middle," one of the judges--he was bald, looked to be in his mid-twenties and covered in tattoos--waved a hand at them, "I didn't recognize it."

 

"It's an original," Casey admitted. She said it loud enough for the judges, down in the front, to hear, but she didn't speak into the mic. The bald man grinned.

 

"Cool," he wrote something down, and they were dismissed. Just like that, auditions were over.

 

After the last band wrapped up, the bald guy climbed onto the stage. He grabbed the mic, addressing the audience as a whole. "Everyone did great," Derek and Jackson exchanged a look--there had been some less than impressive bands on stage that afternoon. "We'll send an email out by next week with the list of bands entered into the competition and further instruction. We have an initial idea of who we want, but we'll need to review the footage a little further. Thanks for coming out, and before you go one member of your group needs to meet with my assistant, Theresa," he pointed to a woman standing by the exit. She waved. "Make sure we have the correct email address written down."

 

"We have to wait an entire week?" Casey gaped at them. Margo was chewing at her nails. It was a long time for all of them to be on edge.

 

"Right," Derek agreed. "So, we'll cancel band practice until we get the list, I guess." They'd all be too anxious to get anything substantial done, anyway.

 

…

 

The first day after auditions, Derek broke into Casey's dorm and replaced all the pictures in her frames with his face. He hung a poster of his face on her wall as well. She showed up at his door two hours later than he'd thought she would, dumping all of the pictures on his bed.

 

They got into an argument about boundaries (Casey) and learning to take a joke (Derek); it devolved into a conversation about growing up, and responsibility (Casey), and how growing up doesn't require being a party pooper all the time (Derek).

 

It wasted a good portion of the afternoon, and it wasn't until Casey was gone that Derek realized he was supposed to be nervous about the Battle of the Bands.

 

…

 

The next day, Derek was dragging himself back from hockey practice. There was a small crowd gathered around his dorm door. Confused (and annoyed), Derek pushed himself to the front of the group. Taped to the outside of his dorm was a blown up image of him covered in makeup, his hair pulled into little ponytails, with a feather boa wrapped around his neck. He recognized the picture from when he let Marti make him over.

 

He stood, grinning, as he realized that Casey had pranked him back.

 

…

 

By the following week, their prank war had escalated considerably. Derek had always known that Casey had a mind for pranks; she hardly used it, though. Derek would have pranked Casey again, but the picture of him called for retaliation.

 

He rearranged the furniture in her dorm.

 

She gift wrapped all of his belongings in his dorm (Jackson shrugged when questioned if he'd known it was happening "had to make sure it wasn't my stuff she wrapped).

 

He posted her phone number in an online ad selling her services.

 

She put out a personal ad for him, looking for a lover of the male variety.

 

…

 

He was so consumed with thinking of pranks and avoiding pranks that he almost forgot about the competition. He wasn't obsessively checking his email at least. He didn't even see the email until an hour after it had been received.

 

Jackson was in the room with him when he opened the message. "Hey," Derek waved for his attention. Jackson looked up. "Band practice tomorrow." Jackson blinked, then he grinned.

 

"We're in?"

 

"We're in."

 

The phone conversation with Margo went much the same way, although there was a cheer from her girlfriend on the other end. "Got to go," Margo said, shyly, "we're going to celebrate."

 

"I'm going to go tell Casey," Derek stood, grabbing his jacket.

 

"You're not going to call her?" Jackson looked amused.

 

Derek shrugged. "While I'm talented enough to rile up Casey over the phone, it's so much more enjoyable to do in person."

 

"I bet it is," Jackson muttered under his breath. Derek pretended not to hear him. "Have fun!"

 

…

 

The Casey that opened the door was pink in the face, eyes a little glassy. "Derek?" She seemed surprised. Despite all the pranks, Derek hadn't actually seen her since the confrontation after his first prank.

 

He studied her carefully. She didn't seem distressed like she'd been crying. She interrupted his assessment by waving a hand in his face. "Earth to Derek," she called, sounding amused. "Keep that up, and you'll no longer have a license to call me Spacey." He grinned.

 

"The email came in."

 

Her eyes brightened, and she clasped her hands together. "Why didn't you say so?" She looked at him, expectantly. "Well?"

 

"See you at practice tomorrow." She squealed and did a little dance before throwing her arms around him.

 

"We did it!"

 

She was warm against him. It took him a moment (the disorienting combination of  _ Casey _ hugging  _ him _ in direct violation of his no PDA policy and being in physical contact with an outer space creature like Casey was no good for his brain) to realize that he could smell alcohol on her. He noted, with some amusement, that Casey was tipsy. He quietly disentangled himself from her grasp, holding himself at arm's length. She looked put out. "A hug isn't going to kill you, Derek."

 

She was probably right, but when she was the one doing the hugging, it just might (because, the whole… different species thing--obviously). Derek was saved from responding when another female seemingly materialized beside Casey. The stranger squinted at Derek, "Who's this?"

 

"Derek," Casey answered. The girl's face lit with understanding.

 

"The one from the band." Derek waited for the part where the inevitable sibling comment dropped, but it never came.

 

"Derek Venturi," he introduced himself, his signature smirk falling into place. He could practically feel Casey rolling her eyes. "You are?"

 

Another girl materialized on Casey's other side (seriously, where were they all coming from?). “Case, we said  _ girl’s _ night. That means no boyfriends."

 

"He's not my boyf-- we're not-- we're just in a band together. We’re not even  _ friends _ ,” Casey sputtered.

 

"Frenemy," Derek supplied, a mixture of amused and confused. Girl Number One had shown recognition of his name, meaning Casey talked about him, but they didn't seem to know about the stepsibling relationship. It was significant, he wasn't sure why.

 

"That's Derek," Girl Number One supplied for Girl Number Two, as if that explained everything.

 

Apparently it did, because GN2 responded with "Ooooh," as she squinted at him. "Nice to finally meet you." Casey, inexplicably, turned a deeper shade of red.

 

"Right, well. I'll see you at practice tomorrow." She nudged his chest with one hand, reaching for the door with the other. "Back to girls night and all," she hurried.

 

Derek tsked. "Should I call Nora and schedule the intervention now, or…?"

 

The door paused, and the pushing stopped. "Intervention?"

 

"For your drinking problem. Casey, you do know it's a school night; that can only mean you now have a problem." His frenemy rolled her eyes and shoved him once more. The door remained open while GN1 and GN2 watched on with some interest. "I'm sure Nora would love to know."

 

"I'm sure George would love to know about the drunken streaking incident," Casey challenged.

 

"That was for hockey initiation!"

 

"I do not have a drinking problem!" Derek shrugged, grinning. Casey huffed in response, and he decided that was enough Casey Riling for the afternoon.

 

"See you at practice tomorrow," he stepped away, knowing it would frustrate her for him to leave on his terms and not hers. He heard her call her friends embarrassing while they cackled.

 

He's almost down the hall when she finally calls out, "I'll have to call George about your gambling problem." Derek chuckled to himself; it would have been a decent enough threat if she'd thought of it sooner.

 

…

 

His excitement about making it to the actual contest was short lived. When Derek returned to his dorm, he rechecked the list. The Kappas were in, too.

 

…

 

They only had a couple weeks of practice before the short Thanksgiving break. Casey and Derek drove home together. They talked about the band, and Casey ran some song lyrics by him for some songs she's writing. The trip went by surprisingly fast and then they were home.

 

It's strange being back home. Derek is used to keeping things from his dad and Nora. It's just; usually, when he's keeping things from them, it's to avoid being in trouble. He's not sure why he hasn't mentioned the band to them (it's not like Derek would have to admit the gambling debt), or the fact that he sees Casey regularly. Even more surprising is that Casey hasn't told her mom every little detail of her life at college.

 

They only have the long weekend, though, so they make the most of it by spending as much time with their family as they can. The second evening, at dinner, his dad and Nora exchange a look. "I suppose it was too much to ask that they get along for one weekend." Casey and Derek were in the middle of a particularly lively sparring match, but they paused at their parent's words.

 

Casey, at least, looked moderately contrite.

 

"What do you expect?" Edwin shrugged, stuffing some baked chicken into his mouth. "They've probably been saving up insults since they arrived at Queen's, and they've only got so many days to get it out."

 

"I thought absence makes the heart grow fonder," George joked.

 

"In my case, it makes the heart grow bitter." Derek quipped. "I can't help it that Casey's so fun to fight with."

 

She rolled her eyes, but Casey looked amused. "It's practically in our DNA to be diametrically opposed to one another."

 

"Dia--what?" Marti looked up from her mashed potatoes.

 

"It means that Derek and I will always be on opposite ends of things, always in disagreement."

 

"Nuh uh," the younger girl countered. "You and Smerek get along all the time."

 

Both co-eds balked at this statement, speaking in tandem.

 

"Smarti, there's no way me and Case have ever gotten along on anything--"

"I think you've misunderstood Marti, Derek doesn't have a cooperative bone in his body--"

 

She cut them both off, "Casey stopped Max's friend from beating you up that one time," she pointed out. "Casey helped you in Battle of the Bands," the two exchanged a look at this, but she continued on. "Smerek helped Casey with Snott--" she would have kept going, but Lizzie interrupted.

 

"Hey, Marti, did you tell Derek about the new kid in your class, the one from Australia?" Marti lit up and immediately went into an explanation of the new kid who had joined her school recently. Derek only half paid attention.

 

He knew that Lizzie had purposefully changed the subject, he just wasn't sure why. He also didn't understand the look on his dad's face, or why Casey was staring down at her plate.

 

When it was clear everyone had moved past Marti's timeline of Derek and Casey Get Along, Casey excused herself from dinner and Derek was quick to follow.


	6. Chapter 6

It's an unspoken agreement that they don't bring up what happened at dinner. In fact, no one mentions it the rest of the weekend, although Derek does find Lizzie and Edwin whispering in the Game closet more often than usual.

 

He ignores it because they've always done their own thing, and honestly, he can't be bothered.

 

The car ride back to school is awkward. Casey won't look at him, or yell at him. She talks to him, so it's not the silent treatment, but he can't escape the feeling he's still being punished.

 

"I'd think you'd be grateful that I'm not nagging at you, anymore," Casey says when he mentions it.

 

"So you're doing me a favor, then."

 

She huffs. "I wouldn't go that far." He feels slightly accomplished at her irritation and wonders if anyone else has a… -- he doesn't want to use the word friendship, a relationship certainly isn't accurate, and the idea that this might be a familial relationship makes him sick to his stomach.

 

It's just, he wonders if anyone else has as complicated communication issues as him and Casey. "Being home is… I don't know, it's weird. We haven't been at school that long, but it already feels so different." She shrugs, turning away from him. "I know it's silly."

 

"It isn't." Derek doesn't look at her as he says this. It's not something he does easily (or willingly in most cases), agreeing with Casey. In this instance, though, he gets what she's trying to say. "It is a little exhausting, isn't it."

 

She gives him a grateful smile (and it doesn’t do a damn thing to him), and they go back to a semi-quiet drive.

 

…

 

The thing is, Derek’s a damn good liar. He can manipulate the truth to his advantage. He can say the right words to get what he wants. Derek doesn’t lie for pleasure, either; sure, it’s fun to work the system, but it’s more about getting what he wants and, sometimes, nothing good can come from the truth.

 

Since the McDonalds entered the Venturi residence, though, a strange thing happens when he lies. There’s a little twinge in the back of his mind:  _ guilt _ .

 

Derek didn’t do guilt before a certain  _ someone  _ entered his life.

 

The more harmless the lie is, the less noticeable the twinge is, but it’s there.

 

It’s the same twinge he gets when he self-analyzes exactly how Casey’s smile doesn’t do strange things to his insides.

 

After all, lying to yourself is just a hop, skip, and a jump away from denial.

 

Sometimes nothing good can come from the truth.

 

…

 

It's a week later, and he's casually dating someone. He says casually, because she comes over sometimes to hang out, and they get along really well (particularly when their clothes are scattered on the floor), but he wouldn't go as far as to call her his girlfriend.

 

It's easy, uncomplicated.

 

He says dating because he spends more time with her than he has with other girls he's met at Queen's.

 

Casey finds out approximately one week later (he's not hiding it from her, he just hasn't… mentioned it--which is not the same as hiding). She's knocking at his door, and he's opening it wearing nothing but his jeans.

 

She blinks at him, cheeks turning pink. Darla comes to stand beside him, wearing nothing but his shirt, and Casey's cheeks darken further. "Gave her the shirt off your back?" Casey snarks. She continues grumbling, "Could you be any more predictable?" The look she gives him makes him feel more naked than he actually was twenty minutes ago.

 

Darla looks between him and Casey in surprise. "I'm sorry. I didn't know he had a girlfriend." She seems embarrassed.

 

Casey and Derek rush to speak over one another.

 

"She's not my--"

"Not in a million years--"

"--accident by marriage--"

"--not to mention so weird--"

 

Darla is looking between them, slightly bemused and Casey huffs. "I'm his stepsister, not his girlfriend."

 

Darla brightens. "Well, I have to get going, anyway." She gives Derek a kiss on the cheek and disappears back into his room to gather up her clothes. Casey says nothing, waiting on the outside of the threshold until Darla slips past them, now wearing her own clothes.

 

Derek finds the discarded shirt and pulls it over his head. He hears Casey enter behind him, shutting the door.

 

"She seemed smarter than your usual flavor of the week."

 

"Flavor of the past couple weeks, actually." He turns in time to see her hide her surprise behind a careful mask of indifference. He also catches a flash of hurt, and he wonders if she expects him to tell her when he's seeing someone now.

 

It's not like they live together anymore.

 

"Are you here for a reason or…?"

 

She narrows her eyes at him. "We were supposed to study together about thirty minutes ago. I rearranged my entire schedule because it was the only time you could meet." He heard the unspoken, 'and you blew me off.'

 

He grins at her. "Something came up."

 

Casey gives him a once over with her eye. She looks unimpressed as she says, "I'm sure it did."

 

It takes him a second, but then he's laughing. "Casey McDonald, did you just make an innuendo." She's staring at him furiously, but he can see the blush creeping up her cheeks.

 

"I'm glad you find inconveniencing other people funny. I know that you do not take your academic success as seriously as you should, but you could at least have the decency to let me know you won't be able to make it, so I'm not wasting my time  _ waiting for you _ ."

 

Derek can't help but notice there's some unexpected venom there. "Jeez, Case, chill. I didn't mean to forget about meeting up with you. Darla showed up, unexpectedly, and…," he shrugged. Maybe casual isn't as uncomplicated as he liked to believe.

 

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." The anger is gone. Now she just sounds tired.

 

"We can study now?" If he's ever asked, he'll deny that he volunteered to study.

 

"I don't know why I should bother to help you study for the test on Tuesday after today's inconvenience," Casey sniffs, and he realizes it's going to take more than an invitation to willingly study to make it up to Casey.

 

"Wait, there's a test on Tuesday?" She nods. "Aw, shit. I'll buy dinner?" It's the closest thing to an apology he can give, she seems to know it, because she gives in and they spend the rest of the afternoon studying.

 

…

 

A little over a week later, and they’re getting their test grades back. Derek meets Casey after class, and Darla is standing there, too. “Well?” Casey prompts, impatiently taking the paper from his hand before he can answer.

 

Her mouth drops and blue eyes dart from the page back to Derek. “No way! Der, this is awesome.” He beams.

 

Darla, feeling left out, peers over Casey’s shoulder. “An A, nice job!” She leans in and gives Derek a big hug. Somehow Casey’s generic, but over-enthusiastic praise makes him feel better than the hug from Darla. The pleased look on Casey’s face falters, and she hands the test back. “I know just the way we can celebrate,” she says.

 

He turns his attention away from his stepsister and focuses on the girl wrapped around him. “I’m looking forward to it,” he says, ignoring the little twinge at the back of his mind. Carefully he disentangles himself from her (his no PDA rule still stands), and when he looks up, Casey’s gone.

 

…

 

_ Every time we lie awake _

_ After every hit we take _

_ Every feeling that I get _

 

_ But I haven’t missed you, yet _

_ Every roommate kept away by _

_ Every sigh and scream we make _

 

_ All the feelings that I get _

_ But I still don’t miss you yet _

_ Only when I start to think about it _

 

_ I hate everything about you _

_ Why do I love you _

_ I hate everything about you _

_ Why do I love you _

 

_ Only when I start to think about you I know _

_ Only when you start to think about me do you know _

 

_ I hate everything about you _

_ Why do I love you _

_ You hate everything about me _

_ Why do you love me _

 

_ I hate _

_ You hate _

_ I hate _

_ You love me _

 

_ I have everything about you _

_ Why do I love you _

 

Casey turns around to face them, chest heaving a little. “Well?”

 

“It’s good,” Margo says, hesitantly.

 

“But?”

 

“No buts, it’s good. A little emo, but in a good way.” Still, Margo is hesitating. “You just seemed to take that song to heart is all,” she finally says.

 

Casey rolls her eyes. “Guys, I write what I feel--”

 

“I know, which is why I’m--Casey, is everything okay?”

 

“Is this about to turn into a therapy session, because if so, I think we can call band practice to an early end.” Derek interrupts. Casey shoots him a glare, flinging her paper at him.

 

“Derek, you ass.” The tears that had been threatening were gone from her eyes, though. She turned her attention back to Margo. “I’m fine, just letting out some frustration.” Her eyes shoot to Derek.

 

“If we win Battle of the Bands, Casey, you can pay for someone to help ease out that frustration in a less emo way.”

 

“Der _ ek _ !” She chases after him, and Derek darts out of the garage, laughing.

 

Jackson glances over at Margo. “That may be the end of practice after all.”

 

…

They end up getting another solid thirty minutes of practice before calling it a night.

 

The guys from the team come in toward the end and watch them. Even though they agreed they didn’t want an audience, no one says anything since it’s their house and all. They all seem impressed with their music, too.

 

“Honestly,” Martin says, clapping Derek on the shoulder. “I thought this would be totally lame, but you guys are great.” He’s talking to Derek, but his eyes are on Casey. “So, two guys and two girls are you and Jackson…” he gestures between Margo and Casey.

 

“The redhead has a girlfriend, and the one with the webbed feet is my stepsister.”

 

Martin makes a face, “She has webbed feet?”

 

Casey, unfortunately, chooses to tune into the conversation now. “I do not have webbed feet.” She rolls her eyes. “Ignore him; his imagination tends to run away with him.”

 

“Well, webbed feet or not, are you available tomorrow night?”

 

…

 

Casey declines the date, at first, but by the end of the night, she’s got a date lined up for the weekend. Derek walks her back to her dorm. “What about that guy?” He asks.

 

“Which guy?”

 

“The one from your English class?”

 

She shakes her head. “We had one date, I hardly owe him anything.”

 

“I thought you were still together after that. He came to watch us play.” Casey shakes her head. “What about the other guy, the one who needs to get a clue?”

 

Casey gives him a long, hard look that he can’t decipher. It does make him uncomfortable, though, for a second. “He still hasn’t a clue, and I’m tired of waiting for him.”

 

Derek’s steps falter, but he catches up quickly. “So, you’re moving on from him just like that?” She shrugs. “You’re not even going to tell him, give him a chance to disappoint you when he fails to meet your expectations?”

 

Casey stops, whirling on him. “What do you mean fails to meet my expectations?”

 

Derek snorts. “Casey, I know you; you want the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with it at all.”

 

“You want some of those things,” she points out, and he nods in agreement.

 

“I do, but I also want a challenge. I don’t care about things being perfect. You want the perfect husband, the perfect house, the perfect relationship; no one can live up to that, and when they do, your expectations rise.”

 

“You don’t know me half as well as you think you do, Derek.” Casey murmurs, quietly. “I have no expectations for him, other than that he would break my heart. I don’t expect him to be perfect… I don’t…” she huffs, running her hands through her hair. “I can’t just tell him. He needs to get it on his own, otherwise; I don’t know.”

 

“You’re already setting him for failure!”

 

“That’s not it, Derek. It’s just. I can’t tell him I’m interested. If he’s interested, he needs to figure that out on his own, without help from me.”

 

“But you’re getting tired of waiting for him.”

 

“Maybe. Then again, I say that frequently, and here I am, still waiting.”

 

They’re both quiet as they resume walking to her dorm. “So, Martin?’

 

“Seems nice.”

 

“He’s not.”

 

“He’s willing to go on a date with me even though there’s a possibility I have webbed feet.” Derek laughs. “Honestly, Derek.” She says, but she’s smiling too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: I Hate Everything About You - Three Day's Grace


	7. Chapter 7

"I don't think she could be any more obvious," Margo says, sipping at her drink. Her free hand is wrapped around the waist of a pretty blonde. Margo's girlfriend, Kennedy, is the polar opposite of Margo; where Axiomatic Division's drummer is shy and reserved, Kennedy has no problem making her opinion known. She's also proven to be loud and impulsive, but she's just as kind as Margo.

 

She's also very enamored with her girlfriend (and for just a moment, Derek envies them for what they have).

 

Jackson shrugs. "She could just be honest about it."

 

"Obvious?" Derek asks. He ignores the sympathetic look that Kennedy gives him… as well as the exasperated glance that Margo and Jackson share.

 

Jackson gestures to Casey. Kennedy had dragged Margo out for karaoke night and then insisted that she bring her friends so that she could finally meet them. Casey was currently on stage giving an incredible performance of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts,  _ I Hate Myself for Loving You _ .

 

He can't pull his eyes away from her.

 

"This song," he says as if it will explain everything. When Derek clearly doesn't get it, Jackson rolls his eyes and drops his head on the table.

 

"The song she wrote, singing this song; she's clearly trying to get a message across," Margo says gently.

 

Derek nods, now understanding. "This is about that guy, then." He should have guessed. Casey has always had a flair for the dramatics.

 

Jackson makes a strangled sound before sitting up, abruptly. "I need a refill!"

 

Meanwhile, Derek has finally managed to tear his eyes away from the girl on stage. Now he's glancing around the room, trying to spot anyone that would fit Casey's type,  but there are no doormats in sight. "What are you looking for?"

 

"Trying to figure out if he's here. I mean, why else would she bother singing the song?"

 

Margo doesn't often take the violent route, but for a moment she looks homicidal like she might strangle him. It's gone in a flash and Derek thinks he might have imagined it. "Oh, he's here. Just as thick as ever."

 

His eyes cut to her. "You know who it is." It's not a question. Margo shrugs. "Well?" He waits, patiently all things considered. Since the day he met Casey, they've been overinvolved in one another's lives; the fact that he hasn't figured out who Casey's mystery man is is starting to drive him a little crazy. She's always been transparent, she's never been able to keep a secret, and he's always been able to read her.

 

"Where's Darla?" Margo asks.

 

Derek waves a dismissive hand. "Out with some friends." He rushed into hanging out with Darla. Darla's not his girlfriend, but she may as well be. He's considered ending it, to be honest (but every time the thought crosses his mind, for some reason he pictures Marti at dinner talking about all the things he and Casey do for one another, and Derek remembers his dad's face; he goes to Darla's room and re-acquaints himself with the parts of her he does like).

 

He wants to ask her more about Casey's crush, but then the devil herself is suddenly standing beside him. "We should do a duet, Der."

 

"Sure," he agrees, lazily. Casey's eyes widen with surprise, and really she should know better. "When hell freezes over." Her brows narrow, and she swats him on the shoulder. It doesn't hurt, much.

 

"Jerk," she mutters without much venom. She's smiling. Despite her dramatics with her choice in song, Casey's in a decent mood. She takes the seat beside him, her thigh pressing against his and focuses on getting to know Kennedy better. It turns out, Margo's girlfriend is a gymnast, so she and Casey have a lot to talk about.

 

Jackson drops into the seat he previously vacated. He claps Derek on the back, shakes his head, and then they go into a discussion about their last hockey game.

 

…

 

Derek slides into his stats class at the last possible second. He figures he'll be the last one to arrive, but a few minutes after class begins, the guy that Derek bums notes off of hobble through the door. He's on crutches, his face is bruised, and one eye is swollen. He ducks his head as he heads to his seat, sliding into it with some grace.

 

Aside from giving him a lingering glance, the professor doesn't even bat an eye.

 

After class, Derek helps him gather his things (he can be an ass, but he's not heartless). He can't resist asking, "What happened?"

 

Most of the room has cleared out, and no one is paying them any attention, so he sighs. "I may have overestimated my ability to play cards," he admits.

 

It takes a second, but then Derek gets it. "Fraternity poker," he guesses. Suddenly his hands feel clammy.

 

Oliver nods. "A subtle reminder to pay them back, and soon." He gives Derek a once over, and his gaze is sympathetic. Lowering his voice, he asks, "How much do you owe?" Derek tells him. He lets out a low whistle. "Hope you have something in place to pay them back."

 

Derek responds with a grimace as they separate.

 

He's not sure what compels him to do it, but he goes to Casey's dorm later that afternoon. He knows she'll be there, and isn't disappointed. Not until "Go away." Derek's brows shoot up, and she gives him an annoyed look. "I have a test next week; I haven't got time to fight with you today."

 

Her hair is frizzy, her shirt inside out, and the circles under her eyes have gotten darker. Derek's stomach twists as he recalls his problem to check in on Casey. "I'm sure you could take that test and pass today," he says breezily, muscling his way past her into her room.

 

She puts up a good fight, but it's a lost cause, and she gives up with an exasperated sigh.

 

He takes a look around the room. It's neat, but there are piles of clutter on Casey's bedside table, and the bed is unmade. In anyone else's dorm, it wouldn't be cause for concern. In Casey's case, though, the sight tugs at Derek's conscience. "You've really let yourself go, Case," he teases.

 

She puts a hand to her hair, raking her fingers through it. "It's a little clutter, Derek; it's hardly the pigsty I'm sure your room is."

 

He grins. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure you could give me a run for my money." Casey takes a look around the room with a mounting look of horror. It takes two insults and turning two of her statements into innuendo before Casey shoves him off her bed to make it, all the while berating him. The nerves about getting his ass kicked have faded. Arguing always has been good for them.

 

When her room is back to Casey standards, she turns on her heel with her hands on her hips. "I told you I don't have time for bickering with you." There's a hint of a smile, though, so Derek's not worried.

 

"Oh, come on; we were long overdue a fight." He bounces a little. "Come on, what do you want to argue about next?"

 

Her eyes narrow, and Derek realizes that maybe he might have bated her too much. "How about the fact that your girlfriend showed up at my dorm at three am this morning to talk about how you seem distant."

 

"She's not my girlfriend," he says automatically. Casey arches a brow. "Right, not the point."

 

"If you want to be distant or attentive, it's not really my problem. What I don't want, is your girl of the whatever-time-of-year showing up at odd hours to complain about  _ you _ ."

 

He can't resist. "But Casey, you're the World Champion of complaining about me."

 

Casey let's out an aggravated huff.

 

"What are you doing here, anyway. Did you honestly come to pick a fight?"

 

Derek shrugs. "Mostly."

 

This is why no matter how much they claim to hate one another, they will always be too involved in one another's lives. First off, Casey gets it. Derek came here for a fight because he needed a distraction. Secondly, she can't resist butting in because the look of understanding is quickly followed by, "What happened?"

 

He tells her.

 

A lot of pacing and a lot of muttering follows, but for the most part, Casey seems unconcerned. It's insulting, actually.

 

"Case."

 

"Hm?"

 

"I know that you've got a test coming up, or whatever, but you'll have plenty of those in your college career. I've only got the one life, the one  _ face _ ; and girls love this face," he ignores her snort of laughter, "my face and the rest of my anatomy are in jeopardy right now."

 

"Well, then we can't lose the contest, now, can we?"

 

…

 

Two days later he's stumbling into the campus coffee shop, desperate for caffeine. His need for coffee is pushed aside when he sees Casey sitting across from Adam. He remembers Ryan, and "if you want to beat him up, you're going to have to go through me," but that can't be what's going on here.

 

Suddenly he's at their table, sliding into the seat beside Casey. "Adam, Spacey."

 

Casey rolls her eyes at him (and already he's more awake than downing a large cup of coffee would have had him) but otherwise ignores him. Adam gives him a nod but focuses on the girl across from him. Derek takes a look at the table. She was studying again, but he can see bits of song lyrics on the corners of her notes. The edges of his lips quirk, but he forces his attention back to Adam. "I made a plea on your behalf, but the funds were still denied. I'm sorry." She didn't sound very sorry, but Derek didn't still cut her a look.

 

_ Why _ had she been making a plea on behalf of his future abuser?

 

Adam looks irritated as he stands, gathering his notebook and loose pages. He grumbles on his way out. Derek is disturbed to find Casey watching him go with a small smile on her face. "Please tell me you are not crushing on Adam of all people?"

 

Casey blinks and turns to him. "Don't be thick, Derek." She says it with such exasperation, and he wonders at the double meaning. It's there; he can hear it, he's just not sure how to interpret it. "Anyway, as much as I'd hate to stay in chat, I have to go." She starts packing up her papers and books. She pauses to count her pages and smiles at whatever number she got. Freaking keener.

 

…

 

Two days before Halloween, Casey rushes into the garage for practice. She blinks in surprise to find everyone already there and pauses to glance at her watch. Confident once again that she's not late, she's excited once more. "Spit it out. You're starting to look like a chihuahua." Casey pauses to glare at him, but it is short-lived.

 

"We have a gig."

 

Margo's sticks stutter on the drum where she'd idly been tapping. Derek chokes, and Jackson blinks. "What?" They ask in near unison.

 

She's pleased by their surprise. "We have a gig." She clears her throat, shifts her feet, and Derek knows he's not going to like what comes next. Casey. "On Halloween."

 

"What?" Jackson yelps. "That's two days away."

 

Casey shrugs. "We've been practicing and preparing for the battle of the bands. We have enough song for a setlist, and it's  _ paid _ ." Her eyes cut to Derek before shooting back to the other two band members.

 

"How did you get a gig so late."

 

She grins. "The original band backed out last minute, and the betas were looking for live entertainment for their Halloween party. I mentioned the band, the kind of music we play, and next thing you know we're hired." She licks her lips and tugs on her ponytail. It's her tell.

 

After some consideration, she persuades them to do the gig. Derek pulls her aside. "What are you hiding?"

 

She seems frustrated. "Sure, you catch on to  _ that _ ." He's not sure what to make of that statement, but Casey continues in the same breath. "I may have... made it so that the original band would cancel so we'd have a shot at the gig."

 

Derek blinks. He's never really understood the word flabbergasted until now. "You sabotaged another band?"

 

"Of course not," she says, indignantly. "But a couple of the members of the band are on the swim team, who needed help with funding for the next meet..."

 

"You  _ bribed _ another band?" He's incredulous. Casey squares her shoulders, ready to defend herself, but he cuts her off. "I'm so proud."

 

"Gross," she makes a face, but there's a twinkle in her eyes. She grows serious a second later. "I figure it would be a chance to earn you a little cash."

 

His mouth goes dry at her words. She did that for  _ him _ . There's a strange swelling in his chest, and he feels a desperate need to reclaim the status quo. Casey helps him out. "Don't worry about saying thank you; I just didn't want to explain to Marti how I didn't do anything to prevent your death. Not to mention you really need to work on playing in front of an audience instead of hiding behind your instrument. It was selfish, really."

 

The swelling is still there, but the feeling is more manageable, and he can resist the urge to pull Casey to him and...

 

... mess up his hair, because that's what (step)brother's do.

 

…

 

Halloween morning Derek spends most of the morning emptying the contents of his stomach. Casey is there in his dorm with mints, a glass of water, and a few insults to distract him for a few minutes. He'd envy her ability to remain calm, but he's aware she's freaking out on the inside as well. She'll have her meltdown later.

 

Derek can't eat anything all day. Casey somehow manages to make all four of their dorm room spotless. Jackson spends most of the afternoon at the gym. They don't see much of Margo, but when Casey does reach her, Kennedy assures her that she's taking care of Margo's tension.

 

It isn't until Casey hangs up the phone that she gets the innuendo, and then her face turns beet red. Derek laughs about the expression on her face for about five minutes, which starts another round of bickering between the two.

 

By the time they meet up to set up for the party, they're all a little shaky but otherwise alright. Margo looks the most relaxed, and when Derek points that out her face turns the same color as her hair. "Ignore him Go," Casey says, checking her appearance one more time. "He's going to be throwing up again five minutes before we go on."

 

He can't deny the truth. "You've got lipstick on your teeth," Derek tells her, instead. She spends the next five minutes searching for her compact mirror until Jackson tells her Derek was messing with him.

 

Casey chases him around the mock stage until the sorority treasurer interrupts them. By this time, Casey's neat hair is a little mussed, and she's looking way more rock in roll (not that Derek has an opinion).

 

"When Claire said she hired new entertainment, I thought she meant a band; not a clown show." Casey straightens her hair, huffing but she smiles at the other girl. She starts to apologize, but it's waved off. "Don't worry about it, I'm only teasing." She offers each of them her hand. "I'm Valerie."

 

Casey introduces each of them, and Valerie hands Casey an envelope. "Half now, half at the end of the night. Don't play anything super lame, and there's a bonus in it. What's the band name again?"

 

"Axiomatic Division."

 

"Cool. Well, I have to finish setting up, but the party should be starting soon." She glances over at Derek and smiles. "Come find me when you guys take your first break."

 

Derek smirks, and Casey elbows him in the side. He waits until Valerie is gone before glaring at her. "What?"

 

"What about... Darla?"

 

Right, Darla. He really should get around to taking care of that (but then he pictures Marti at dinner talking about all the things he and Casey do for one another, and Derek remembers his dad's face, and maybe he can put it off a while longer).

 

…

 

Derek did puke once more before the show (but thankfully no one from the sorority found him). After that, though everything was easy. People showed up, they played music, and people seemed to be enjoying them.

 

They took a few short breaks, and on the second one, Darla appears at his elbow. "I didn't know you were going to be playing!" She shouts into his ear.

 

He shrugs. "It was last minute. Just found out two days ago."

 

"You guys are really good."

 

She's beaming at him, and for some reason, he thinks about that time that Casey said that anyone who uses 'good' to describe something either needs to expand their vocabulary or is just searching for something to say. He sighs, and she seems to get it. "Don't say anything," she says. "I get it; we were never serious, and maybe I got a little attached, came on a little strong." Darla chuckles. "Probably shouldn't have shown up at your sister's dorm, huh."

 

"Step," he says, automatically.

 

She closes her mouth on what she's about to say. She gives Derek the same look everyone in his life has been giving him lately and pats him on the chest. "It was fun while it lasted, Derek."

 

As breakups go, it's one of the easiest he's ever had (he pushes thoughts of Marti, and his dad out of his mind; it had never been fair to Darla, anyway).

 

Casey finds him a few minutes before they're about to go back on. "You okay?"

 

He doesn't ask how she knows. He shrugs. "Yeah, it was never going to last, anyway." She looks like she wants to ask him something, but Margo waves them over, and they're back to playing.

 

It's late when the party finally wraps up. They pack up, and Valerie gives them the rest of their payment. It ends up being a total of twelve-hundred dollars. They each get a hundred dollar bonus, "for not sucking," and the knot in Derek's shoulder blades eases slightly.

 

They're riding an adrenaline high, so they go out to eat at some crummy twenty-four hour joint. The burgers are good, and so is the company. Before they head home, Casey pulls him aside, handing him her cash from the gig. "Here."

 

"What's this?"

 

She gives him a look. "Money, doofus. Take it." She presses the bills into his hand.

 

"I'm not taking your money."

 

"Derek, just take it."

 

He shoves the money back into her hand. "Hell no."

 

She rolls her eyes. "I should have known your stupid pride-- look, think of it as a loan. Pay me back when we win the battle of the bands, okay? I won't beat you to a pulp if you don't pay me; you need it, I have it; so take it."

 

"Casey, it should be fine. This will be enough to buy me some time until we see the result. I'm not taking your money."

 

"You're such a stubborn ass."

 

"And you're a stubborn princess."

 

They're both irritated, both breathing heavily. Derek can't resist cracking a smile. "Save it," he tells her. "If I really need it, I'll ask you for it, but for now let me do it on my own. Okay?"

 

Casey sighs, but eventually, she agrees, and they head home for the night.

 

…

 

November passes, and Casey gets them two more gigs for the month. They don't pay nearly as well, but it gets them practice and feedback, and a little bit of money. Derek gives most of it to the fraternity (but he keeps some of it for himself because a guy's gotta survive). As the end of the semester approaches, they call off band practice until they come back in the Spring.

 

Casey is too focused on finals that she's impossible to be around. Derek still sees her, and he actually studies when she forces him to. But he also takes off and attends the blow-off-steam end of semester parties that pop up.

 

He sees Valerie at some of these. They make out their first encounter, but he can't bring himself to make a repeat. She doesn't take offense, which Derek thinks is pretty cool.

 

Casey collapses in his room after her last final. He has one more the following day, so she's there to make sure he actually studies, but she's asleep within fifteen minutes. He doesn't bother her. She looks peaceful; try as he might, he can't convince Casey to drop any of her activities. She's been working too hard. Derek lets her have the rest (he also studies, but doesn't tell her that).

 

The next day after his final is complete, they're headed home for Christmas break.


	8. Chapter 8

Going home feels like taking ten steps backward in several ways. Instead of being home for the weekend, they’re going to spend nearly a month with their family. Derek recalls the conversation he had with Casey on the way back to Queen’s. Being home is weird.

 

Their family has the same schedule, only it’s different. Meanwhile, Casey and Derek had gotten used to having their own schedule and doing their own thing. If he wanted to get a cheeseburger at 2am, that was a decision he had to make. Now he feels like he has to ask permission to leave the house when it gets dark.

 

They’re two college students struggling to find the balance between independence and respect. Granted, Derek’s always been a toe the line kind of guy, but he loves his dad and Nora. They’ve done their best, and he does have respect for them.

 

The first few weeks back, the younger kids are still in school, leaving Casey and Derek to their own devices for a majority of the day. With not a lot to do and no syllabi for her Spring Semester classes, Casey manages to sleep in until a reasonable hour. He’s glad for it; she needs the rest.

 

A few days into Christmas vacation they meet up with Sam, Ralph, and Emily. He’s worried it’s going to be awkward after his breakup with Emily, but it ended amicably enough that after the initial hello, they’re back to normal.

 

Turns out they all have the same weird feeling that Derek has about being home, and the internal struggle that comes with it, so it’s good to know it’s not in his head.

 

“When I left the house right now,” Emily says, “my parents went into the usual ‘who is going to be there’ and ‘what are you going to be doing’ which, okay that’s fair, they care and want to know I’m safe. Then my dad starts to tell me to be home by ten. He stopped, thought about it, and goes ‘uh, try not to stay out too late’ while my mom told me to let them know when I was headed home, so they’d have an idea.”

 

“I think they have the same struggle,” Ralph concludes.

 

Hearing a revelation like that from Ralph is surprising, but then again while not the sharpest crayon in the box, he also wasn’t the nubby one. For his part, Derek hadn’t really considered that his dad might be having the same struggle between being a parent and letting his son make his own decisions.

 

He decides to cut his dad some slack.

 

They go to a movie, and with some shuffling Derek ends up next to Casey. He’s not sure why he does it, and he’s sure to make it look accidental. “Spacey, can’t you pick somewhere else to sit.”

 

She rolls her eyes. They spend the rest of the movie wrestling over the armrest. Emily gives them a bemused look as they exit the theater. “We can’t take you two anywhere.”

 

“Like I’d go anywhere with him,” Casey elbows him in the ribs.

 

“Like I’d take you anywhere with me.”

 

Sam sighs. “Some things never change,” but he, too, looks amused.

 

Ralph tsks. “One day, you’ll grow out of this and admit your friends.”

 

Casey and Derek make equally disgusted sounds, shoving away from one another. Casey clings to Emily. “What kind of sick joke?!”

 

“Ralph! You shouldn’t say such dirty words in public.” Derek catches Casey’s eye, and she grins.

 

Later, when they’re headed home, he gives his dad a call. George seems surprised to hear from him, and his first question is to ask if he’s alright. “Yeah, just wanted to let you know that me and Klutzilla are on our way home.”

 

“It’s Klutzilla and me,” Casey admonishes from her spot in the passenger seat. She glares at him a moment before whacking him in the arm. “Just say Casey, you jerk.”

 

“Ow, Princess. Don’t hit the driver.” She hits him again.

 

“You’re headed home together?” His dad interrupts, surprised. For a second Derek may have forgotten that Casey was on the phone.

 

Derek coughs. “Yeah. She went to hang with Emily; I went to hang out with Sam and Ralph, and we ended up going to see the same movie.”

 

George sounds suspicious. “And you’re calling ahead, to let me know that you’re headed home.”

 

“Yeeees. It’s not that big of a deal.”

 

“It is surprisingly mature of you, Derek,” Casey states, primly.

 

He checks the brakes, and she lurches forward against her seatbelt. “I take that back you arrogant--”

 

“Anyway, see you in a bit, dad.” Derek hangs up the phone, so he can focus on baiting Casey properly.

 

...

 

At home, Casey avoids him. He doesn't realize it at first, as things start out naturally. He wakes up later than her, she's already in the middle of something when he finally is awake.

 

It becomes more apparent when the rest of the kids are on break.

 

She's in the kitchen making cookies with Marti, and he walks in. "Marti, keep an eye on the timer. I'll be right back." Casey takes the long way around the kitchen island and darts up the stairs.

 

He's in the living room when Casey and Lizzie walk in. When they finally peel off their layers, Lizzie heads for the couch, but Casey holds her back by her sweater. "Come upstairs with me." Lizzie gives her an odd look but follows Casey upstairs. They brush past his recliner; Casey doesn't even look at him.

 

When they hang out with friends, she's more like the Casey at school. Then, they get home, and her face freezes like she remembers, and then she's distant, pulling away and not meeting his eyes.

 

He wonders if she remembers that weekend at Thanksgiving.

 

On Christmas day, the two coeds stick with tradition. Derek gives her something in a bag that he took from her room the night before. Casey gives him a pack of socks (the next day Casey's nose will be stuck in that book she really wanted, and Derek will be sporting a new Leaf's jersey).

 

Later, after dinner, when they've all dispersed from the forced family bonding, Derek finds Casey sitting on the back stoop. She's wrapped in a blanket with a beanie, but that's the extent of her coverage from the cold.

 

He sits next to her, and after a beat, she huffs and opens her blanket to him. Derek laughs. "No one is forcing you to share, Princess." It doesn't stop him from shifting next to her and pulling the blanket tight around them.

 

"I can just picture you blaming me when you get hypothermia."

 

"What are you doing out here?"

 

She shrugs, and he feels the movement against his arm. "Thinking."

 

"Because you never do enough of that." Casey nudges him, and he laughs again. "Anything serious."

 

"Just about us." He nearly chokes, but she continues as if she hasn't noticed. "The way we are."

 

"The way we are?"

 

"Yeah. The way we argue, and fight, and pretend we can't stand one another."

 

"Who's pretending?" She turns to look at him, so he follows suit, and Derek catches the flash of hurt in her look. "I'm kidding," he amends. It's a rare moment of honesty, and he's rewarded with a flash of a smile before she turns forward.

 

"About why we feel the need to pretend."

 

He thinks about Thanksgiving; about Marti obliviously going on, and the look on his dad's face. He also thinks about some guy that needs to get a clue, and how having Casey around is better than not having her around. "It's easier." He answers, cryptically. She seems to understand, though, because she nods.

 

Her voice is soft as she says, "Yes, I suppose it is."

 

Derek starts to say something, but Nora is calling Casey's name. The jump apart, and he thinks about pretending. He catches Casey's eye, and she gives him a sad smile. She hands over the blanket and heads inside, leaving him to do his own thinking.

 

…

 

Casey sends an e-mail two days before they're scheduled to leave back to Queen's. She has a gig planned for them the first weekend they're back. It makes him laugh because she could have told him in person, but she included Margo and Jackson on the e-mail, so he doesn't say anything.

 

He's eating a bowl of cereal when she breezes into the kitchen through the back door. She's on the phone laughing, her eyes are sparkling with mirth, and the snow hadn't entirely melted from her clothes, yet.

 

She looks like an ad for hot chocolate, or fireplaces as she shakes her hair out after removing her hat. There's a lump in Derek's throat and that tight feeling in his chest, and now she's interfering with his ability to eat. A hand claps onto Derek's shoulder, sending him into a choking fit. "Sorry," George says, looking not sorry at all. "You okay, you look like you've seen a ghost."

 

Like the expert liar he is, he doesn't let his eyes flick over to Casey. "Yeah, I'm fine aside from you sneaking up on me. We should put a bell on you." His dad laughs, but he's studying Derek carefully.

 

"Alright, well... you know you can talk to me, right?"

 

Derek shrugs his hand off his shoulder. "Ew, dad. I'm eating here; now is not the time to get sentimental." George sighs and Derek almost feels guilty. He clears his throat and stares down at his cereal. "I'll keep it in mind, though; for when it's not a mealtime." It makes his dad smile, and then he's left alone in the kitchen with Casey. She's de-layered, her winter coat folded neatly over her arm. She's off the phone now, and she watches George's back as he leaves.

 

Derek shovels a large mouthful of cereal in his mouth to distract himself, so his mouth is full by the time she turns back to him. Casey's still smiling, but she manages to also look disgusted. "Gross. Can you learn to eat like a human being?"

 

He pretends to think about it. Then, he answers with his mouth full, "Where's the fun in that?"

 

The scandalized look on her face eases away the rest of the lump in his throat. "No wonder Margo can't stand to eat with you."

 

"What are you so cheerful about?" He gestures to her phone.

 

"Well, if you must know I've got an article coming out in the school paper. It's just a guest column since I'm only a freshman, but they really liked it." She glances over at who she just shared her news with, and rolls her eyes. "Go ahead."

 

"What?"

 

"Make your joke, poke fun. Bring me down." She sets her jacket on the counter to put her hands on her hips.

 

"I'm not going to make fun of you." She looks at him incredulously, and he's looking back at her just as surprised. "I'm wondering when you found the time to write an article. Between debate, your job, band practice, classes, writing songs for our band; jeez Case, when do you sleep?"

 

She opens her mouth to answer, but Nora interrupts. "What band?"

 

He's surprised to find his stepmother standing there, and honestly, when did their parents learn to sneak around like this. Both Derek and Casey freeze, exchanging a look. He tells the truth, brushing it off as less than it is. "Axiomatic Division," he inhales more cereal, talking with his mouth full again, "I started a band."

 

Nora's surprised. She turns to her daughter, "You're writing songs for Derek's band?" He snickers, giving Casey a smug look.

 

"Der _ ek _ , swallow before you speak." The innuendo is there, too easy, but Nora's standing right there so Derek refrains.

 

“Freak.”

 

“Pig.” He grins. Casey turns to Nora. "It's not his band, mom." She rolls her eyes. "We," Nora's eyes widen "don't really have a bandleader, but if we did, it would be me." Her eyes cut to Derek, daring him to object. He can tell she already has a rebuttal on her lips. Just to irritate her further when she's so ready to prove him wrong, he doesn't deny the fact.

 

"You two are in a band together?"

 

"It's not the first time," Casey points out.

 

"I know; I'm just surprised you can manage to get along enough to have a repeat."

 

Casey scoffs. "Oh, believe me. We argue at every practice." Nora rolls her eyes. "Margo and Jackson tolerate us."

 

"I didn't even know you two saw one another at school. You always swore you want nothing to do with each other." Nora's lips twitch, and Derek swears she wants to smile.

 

Casey borrows his turn of phrase, altering it to fit the purpose. "Accident of circumstances, mom." She says, brushing past Nora before she can ask anything else.

 

Derek times the next mouthful of cereal to be shoved in at the time that Nora turns to face him. He knows she wants to say something, ask him something, but she sighs. "Smaller bites, Derek." He nods, and she turns to go. After a moment's hesitation, she turns back to face him. "You're keeping an eye on her, then, making sure she's not working too hard?"

 

He rolls his eyes like he does any other chore he's been given (as if he wouldn't be keeping an eye on her anyway), "Trying to."

 

That seems to appease her, and Derek is finally left in peace.

 

He's never been so glad to go back to school.

 

…

 

Derek ends up having another class with Oliver. He's looking better, and the crutches are gone, but every time Derek looks at him, it sends a chill up his spine.

 

That could be him if they don't win at the battle of the bands.

 

The closer they get to the contest, the crankier Derek gets. He bites Margo's head off when she has trouble with her solo. She gets teary-eyed and runs from the room. A minute later Martin comes to the garage, confused. "Why is there a chick crying in the bathroom?"

 

Casey glares at him and goes after her. Derek puts his head in his hands, and Jackson shakes his head. "Not cool, man."

 

"I'll apologize."

 

"So....?" Martin says, reminding Derek that he's still there.

 

"Derek's acting like an ass," Jackson supplies helpfully.

 

"Oh." That appears to be sufficient explanation for Martin because he disappears back into the house.

 

"Dude, what is your problem."

 

Derek tells him, and when he's done, Jackson whistles low. "That's harsh, man. It's not Margo's fault, though."

 

"I know. I don't stress often, but when I do..." He trails off and gestures to Margo's drumset.

 

They're interrupted by the reappearance of their drummer and lead singer. Margo wipes at her eyes and holds up a hand when Derek opens his mouth to apologize. "It's not entirely your fault, okay. I don't cry this easy."

 

"I shouldn't have snapped like that."

 

She shrugs. "It's fine. I'm not focusing like I should be." She pauses. "Kennedy broke up with me. I don't want to talk about it; I just thought you should know."

 

Casey gives Margo a sympathetic glance. "Maybe we should cut practice short today. We can have a girl's night, get your mind off it, and then tomorrow when we're back at practice, you'll be a little better focused?" Margo shrugs. "Or we can just hang out as a band?" Casey looks to Jackson and Derek for support.

 

They both exchange a look. Spending the evening with Casey and Margo typically isn't a bad thing, but spending the evening when Margo has the potential to break out in tears at the drop of a hat sounds less than appealing. "That sounds nice," Margo agrees, and Casey gives them both a hard look.

 

Derek supposes this is his punishment for acting like a dick.

 

It turns out to not be so bad. Margo doesn't cry, and she doesn't talk about Kennedy. Instead, she and Jackson share their winter breaks. They go to the same karaoke place from before, and Margo and Casey do a goofy rendition of Barbie Girl.

 

At the end of the night, Kennedy calls. Margo disappears, and they find out the next day that the pair are back together.

 

When she first disappears, Jackson goes off to try his luck with a girl he'd spotted at the bar earlier. Derek turns to Casey, "So, you and Martin acted pretty cool the other day." She raises a brow at him. "Date didn't go well? Did you wear the blonde wig?" He smirks, and she rolls her eyes.

 

"It went fine, but I decided that maybe I should give myself time before I start dating."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yes, I need to work on moving past someone before dating rather than trying to use other people to move on."

 

"Why move on at all? I thought this guy was everything you wanted," he waved a hand, "yadda yadda yadda."

 

She snorts. "Not even close to the man I envisioned, but somehow, I think it would work."

 

"Okay, so I repeat. Why move on at all? He still hasn't got a clue, or he's not interested?"

 

She stares at him for longer than he feels is necessary before she shrugs. "I'm not sure. Sometimes I think, maybe, he hasn't figured it out, and then sometimes I think he has and hasn't said anything because he doesn't feel the same way."

 

"So, you're giving up."

 

Casey looks him in the eye, "It's easier."


	9. Chapter 9

"It's easier. Pah!" Derek throws his hockey gear on onto the couch with more force than necessary. Jackson follows behind him, seeming amused.

 

"You're still on about that, then."

 

Not realizing he'd been talking out loud, Derek glances at his roommate. "About what?"

 

"Casey giving up on her mystery guy." For some reason, this has been a source of great amusement for the guitarist.

 

"It's so typically Casey. Make a big deal about a person, or a thing, and then back down when things get hard. If she would just wait, patiently, for people to make their own peace and come around to things in their own time, she'd be happier in the long run."

 

Jackson drops down onto the couch, blinking in surprise at Derek. "And you care so much because?"

 

"Because!" Jackson gives Derek that same look he's been getting all year now, and he drops from the spot he'd just been about to sit in. "Because... because..."

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"I have to clean up the mess when it all falls apart, you know."

 

"Of course."

 

"It will fall apart. I mean, this is Casey."

 

"Okay," Jackson says, leaning forward and grabbing a magazine.

 

"It affects me!"

 

"Sure it does," he says, flipping the page.

 

Derek stops and peers over at his friend. "I get the feeling you don't believe me."

 

Jackson looks up, one brow arched. "Oh, I believe you. I know that this affects you, and I know that her getting with this 'guy' is bound to be a mess--"

 

"Thank you!"

 

"--I just don't think it's going to be in the way that you think."

 

Derek pretends not to hear the last part, and confident that his case has been heard and understood, turns to find what he can watch on TV. He doesn't spend one more moment distracted by that last comment.

 

Nope.

 

Not a bit.

 

...

 

"What did you mean, exactly?" Derek asks, the next morning in the dining hall. He's sitting across from Jackson, glaring into his pancakes.

 

For his part, Jackson looks like he might still be asleep. "Huh?"

 

"Yesterday, when you said it's not going to be in the way that I think?"

 

Jackson sighs. He takes a long draw from his coffee cup. "Derek, I'm very tired."

 

"Just work with me a minute."

 

He holds up his hand to stall Derek, "I'm exhausted," he reiterates. "So, if you want me to continue with this vague alluding to things you're not ready to face thing, we'll have to have this conversation another time. If you're ready to have an actual conversation about things; if you're ready to pack your bags and move out of Denial City, then we can talk. So, I'm going to finish my coffee and give you a chance to think about which route you want to take. Then, if you still want to pursue this conversation, we can."

 

Derek resumes glaring at his pancake while Jackson finishes his coffee. When he puts the cup down, Jackson sounds more pleasant when he asks, "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

 

"You know I hear Hardigan is going to be out of the game for the rest of the season."

 

Jackson sighs, shaking his head slightly. "Yeah, I heard the same."

 

Jackson, Derek decides, is a good friend.

 

...

 

Derek works on his attitude, except when it comes to Casey. For some reason, in the days leading up to the competition, he's most irritated with her. That's not unusual, as she's always been one to grind his gears, so to speak. He focuses on avoiding her outside of practice, and he knows she knows because before he darts out of the garage, she gives him the Sad Casey Eyes (TM), and sighs before turning away so he can escape.

 

She doesn't confront him, though, and for that he's grateful.

 

(Honestly, he doesn't know how much longer he can avoid It when she seems so determined to remind him at every opportunity -- eventually, they're going to have to talk about _the_ guy).

 

…

 

In between worrying about playing in front of an audience, and other Non-Casey related things ( _it's easier_ ), Derek also finds time to worry about his debt.

 

He's been paying some of his gig money to the fraternity, and every time he lowers the amount, they don't seem entirely thrilled to be getting their money back. A few conversations with Oliver and Derek learns that this is something that they do to new students and that they often extort those who can't pay for other things, and they prefer being able to lord a debt over someone's head than you pay them. "The fact that they entered into that competition just proves it," Oliver had continued. "If I were still a betting man, I'd be willing to bet that they're hoping to beat you so that you can't pay them back."

 

"I can't exactly get them anything if I don't pay them back, so blackmailing me does no good."

 

Oliver gives him a look like he's dumb (it's the same look that Jackson gives him sometimes). "Derek, you're on a hockey team. Now, you're new. Next year, though, you're definitely going to give more playing time. You already know they like betting." He leaves it at that, but Derek can make draw up the rest of the conclusion.

 

He's left sick at the thought of being involved in illegal betting with his beloved sport.

 

...

 

The day of the competition, his stomach is so messed up, the only thing on his mind is if he's going to mess up the chord change, and where's the nearest toilet.

 

Casey is practically vibrating with nerves when they finally meet up with Margo and Jackson. Margo inhales and then squints at Casey, suspiciously. "Why do you smell like bleach?"

 

Casey turns pink, "Just a little spot cleaning in the bathroom."

 

Margo groans, "I thought we talked about the stress cleaning. You've got to find a new outlet."

 

"Can you change stress relief methods after my laundry is done?" Derek asks, but his voice is weak.

 

Casey turns to him, eyes wide and he's expecting at the very least a token 'Der _ek_ ,' but it's a credit to how panicked she is, that she says, "You have laundry left?"

 

It takes him a second to catch the whole sentence. "What do you mean 'yet'?"

 

She shifts on her feet. "Well, you weren't home when I stopped by."

 

"You already did my laundry?"

 

"Yesterday."

 

"Casey, this is really getting out of hand," Margo interrupts. Derek opens his mouth to comment, but Jackson shoos them all into the car, and then they're on the way to the competition venue. His mind is suddenly full of other things to worry about.

 

…

 

Once they arrive at the music hall, Derek darts for the bathroom. When he finally emerges, Casey is waiting there with mouthwash and a stick of gum. He doesn't say anything as he accepts both. Neither does she.

 

The setup is kind of cool. The venue is larger than Derek had anticipated, but they have other vendors, and companies from all over the surrounding cities have put up booths. There are also contests and other games happening around, too.

 

He'd thought it would just be the contest, but he supposes this is how they get an audience. It also explains the hefty prize amount.

 

They get a rundown of how the event is supposed to go, what will happen during the transitions between groups, then a representative from each band is called up to draw a number so they can pick an order. Derek gets nauseated at the thought, so he doesn't argue when Casey offers to go.

 

"Six," she says when she returns a minute later. "Kappas are fifth," she offers this information without him having to ask.

 

They get some time to look at the different booths, but Derek is suddenly paranoid that their instruments might be sabotaged, so he stays behind. He can look around after they've performed. Jackson and Margo disappear to see what kind of booths are set up, but Casey lingers behind. "You okay?"

 

"Peachy," he snarks. "Only I haven't eaten all day, and I've had to stay near the bathroom all day."

 

She narrows her eyes at him. "I know you're nervous, Derek. I was just... ugh, forget it, okay."

 

It's not because he feels guilty, because he doesn't. It's just... It's the nausea in his stomach; he's got nothing left to throw up, so all that's left is word vomit. "I don't know what I'm going to do if we don't win this. I suppose we can keep playing gigs, but I really like my body and face with its current arrangement. I don't want to get used to a new one." He tells her about his conversation with Oliver, too. She listens and doesn't try to make him feel better. He's grateful; he's not sure he can deal with platitudes right now.

 

When he finishes, she sighs and shakes her head at him like she can't believe that he got caught up in this mess. He doesn't blame her.

 

"Derek, you know I have your back, right?"

 

"As appreciated as the sentiment is, I don't think poking Adam in his chest is going to get him to back off like it did with Ryan." The idea of her getting between him and his imminent pummeling is a terrifying one, and he vows to keep her away from that much better than last time. Casey just smiles, and there's something off about it like she has a secret. But Casey can't keep secrets, so he dismisses that thought.

 

Jackson and Margo return moments before the show is supposed to start. They're backstage with him in Casey. Since they never went around looking at all the stuff, they were able to scope out a decent spot in the wings where they can see most of what's happening on stage. The MC is entertaining. She has Derek stifling a laugh a few times, and then the first act is introduced, an all-girl group called Cherry Tomatoes.

 

They play a lot of chick music, a little bit of the music he had expected Casey to be writing, but they're talented. He even catches himself bobbing his head to one of their songs.

 

Casey catches him, too, and she grins at him. He leans in close to speak in her ear where she'll be able to hear him, "tell anyone about this, and I'll be sure to tell about that little incident during orientation week." She shivers against him, but she's smiling.

 

When she turns to respond in his ear, it's his turn to shiver. "Consider it our secret; no one would believe me, even if I did tell."

 

After Cherry Tomatoes, the MC kills some time and makes announcements while the next group gets up. The band is Six Days Inept, a sort of play on Three Day's Grace (he only figures it out when they play and all their covers are Three Day's Grace songs). Kicking Dogs follows their act, and they play heavy, angry metal. Casey looks appalled at their choice in name. They're followed by a country duo called Long Time Coming. The girl in the group has a decent voice. Country music isn't really Derek's kind of music, but he can appreciate that her voice is suited for it.

 

Then, the Kappas are up. They start with a cover that Derek doesn't recognize, but he can tell by the few cheers he hears that some people in the audience do. They play a few more covers, and then when they're starting up their last song, his ears perk up. He recognizes that introduction. There are not recognizing cheers in the audience, but Jackson and Margo exchange a look. They recognize the song, too.

 

"This one is an original of ours," the lead singer announces to the crowd and then he starts to sing.

 

“ _Every time we lie awake_

_After every hit we take_

_Every feeling that I get_

_But I haven’t missed you yet._ ”

 

Derek's trying to place it, trying to believe that it's anything else when Casey grabs his elbow, hissing in his ear, "That's  _my_ song."

 

Somehow they had managed to steal a copy of Casey's original song, one that they had intended on playing tonight. Oddly enough, Casey looks a little stunned, but not surprised.

 

He figures it must be the shock.

 

Margo leans in, "We can't play the same song as them." She sounds despondent, and Derek doesn't blame her. In front of the stage, there is a lot of cheering; the audience may not know the song, but they're enjoying it.

 

He feels a moment of pride for Casey.

 

Casey rolls her eyes at both of them. "We've been practicing for months; so we're used to playing it in this particular set. It's fine. We know a handful of other songs. We can play any of them." Derek's grateful for Casey's neurotic need to force them to practice more than their setlist songs. She'd been so insistent, and he'd written it off, but now it was going to save their ass.

 

"It has to be a good one," he comments. "Because the audience really likes this one."

 

Jackson leans forward with his suggestion. It's a great song, but it's their least practiced. Casey looks at them with wide eyes. "Are you sure?" Margo asks, doubtfully.

 

Derek shrugs. At this point, it's not his call to make. Casey meets his eyes. Whatever she finds in his expression, it gives her resolve. She nods in agreement. "Okay, but we play it last."

 

Too soon it's their turn on stage.

 

…

 

They open with Derek leading Judas. He was hesitant to be on the mic, to begin with, and it had taken some persuasion. He finds himself regretting that decision as they get up on stage, but it's too late to do anything about it now. At least he gets his songs out of the way first.

 

Judas is followed by Derek singing Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman. It had been Casey's suggestion, which surprised him immensely, but after much debate and argument, they had agreed to the song. It went over well with the audience, even with Casey in on the chorus. He met her eye, and she mouthed, 'I told you so' at him. He nearly laughed.

 

After that, it was all Casey originals, with her as the lead. They started with Casey's audition song, followed by I Miss the Misery. Here they were supposed to sing the song stolen by the Kappas. They skipped to a cover of Zombie.

 

He was all too focused on the music to pay much attention to what the audience was doing. Derek had no clue if they loved them, hated them, or were indifferent. When they paused, however, to introduce their next song, Derek took a second to gauge the crowd.

 

They were taking a risk with the next song. It's a little different than the style of everything else they had played, but Casey's voice was killer on this one, and he hoped it would give them an edge. It also required Derek to switch to the keyboard. Granted, it wasn't a difficult piece, but he'd been rusty when she decided to add it in, but it made all the difference in the song so they’d managed to acquire a cheap, portable keyboard and he’d practiced.

 

It also required both Derek and Jackson to take up the mic in the background. They did it on a few songs, but it was more apparent in this particular one.

 

All in all, it was a risk to play the song when they’ve had no feedback on it, yet.

 

There was a pause as Axiomatic Division took a collective deep breath, and then Derek starts with the introduction. Then Casey begins to sing.

 

“ _How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down, into my core_

_Where I’ve become so numb, without a soul_

_My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold_

_Until you find it there, and lead_

_It_

_Back home._ ”

 

This time, Derek is watching the crowd carefully. There’s a few into the start of the song, and quite a few who look unsure. Here, however, the song picks up and then he can tell that it’s going to be fine.

 

“ _Wake me up inside._

_Wake me up inside._

_Call my name and save me from the dark._

_Bid my blood to run._

_Before I come undone,_

_Save me from the nothing I’ve become._

 

_Now that I know what I’m without,_

_You can’t just leave me._

_Breathe into me and make me real._

_Bring me to life._

 

_Wake me up inside._

_Wake me up inside._

_Call my name and save me from the dark._

_Bid my blood to run._

_Before I come undone,_

_Save me from the nothing I’ve become._

 

_Bring me to life._

_Bring me to life._

 

_Frozen inside, without your touch._

_Without your love, darling_

_Only you are my life_

_Among the dead._

 

_I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems._

_Got to open my eyes to everything._

_Don’t let me die here._

_Bring me to life._

 

_Wake me up inside._

_Wake me up inside._

_Call my name and save me from the dark._

_Bid my blood to run._

_Before I come undone,_

_Save me from the nothing I’ve become._

 

_Bring me to life._

_Bring me to life._

_Bring me to life._ ”

 

…

 

The noise is deafening on stage. Casey's looking awestruck like she can't believe it went so well. Honestly, Derek can't believe it. They bask in the glow of the applause a moment longer, then they turn and break down their instruments for the next group to come out.

 

He completely misses whatever the MC says about their performance, but he does hear more cheers.

 

Once their instruments are put away, a feeling of relief sweeps over his body. Regardless of what happens with the contest, and the money, this part is over, and it went really fucking well. He can breathe easy.

 

Derek can't stay backstage now that their turn has come and gone, so he and Casey go to explore the setup. There are a few more bands after them, and the music is pretty good. He leaves it to background noise; whatever happens now, there's nothing to be done about it since they've already played.

 

…

 

When the last band exits the stage, all the band members are herded backstage. The MC makes a few announcements about the other booths and then asks that anyone who has strong feelings about a band can make a vote and the judges might take the popularity into consideration.

 

After that, it's a waiting game.

 

With nothing better to do, most of the bands mingle. It's the first time they get to really interact; everyone was too nervous at auditions, and too busy when they first arrived. Derek avoids the kappa, but aside from that, he interacts with everyone--even the country duo.

 

"You guys were pretty great," one of the girls from Cherry Tomatoes tells him."

 

"Thanks."

 

"So, did you write all of those songs or just some of them?" He supposes he can't fault her for not paying much attention to their song choice, but Derek finds he does blame them a little. She paid enough attention to know that some were originals, but they can't recognize Judas?

 

He shakes his head and points to Casey, "She wrote all of our originals."

 

"Oh! She's pretty fantastic!"

 

He nods in agreement and then makes an excuse to go mingle anywhere else.

 

Eventually, it's time for the results. The MC takes center stage. "Alright, for those of you who care enough to listen, I have the results for the band competition. That's a lot of money on the line for those of you who participated." Derek finds Jackson, and they make their way back to Margo and Casey. The girls are nervously holding hands. He rolls his eyes at them both and catches Jackson doing the same. They share a chuckle.

 

Casey looks oddly calm, considering her intellectual property or whatever had been stolen.

 

"Before I announce the winners," the girl says, glancing at something inside the envelope. "It seems we have a disqualification."

 

There's suddenly nervous whispering back stage. Derek is focused on the girl on stage. "It would seem that Kappa Tunes is disqualified from the competition for copyright infringement." She shakes her head, "Not cool dudes."

 

Derek glances at Casey, and she's looking at him. "How?" She hasn't been out of her sight since they arrived, certainly not after the Kappas performed the stolen song. She smirks--actually smirks at him, and he vows to get to the bottom of this, but the MC is still talking.

 

"Third place goes to Appeal to Reason," one of the bands that had performed after Axiomatic Divison. Derek tries to recall what the prize for third was, but he can't.

 

"In a close run for first, Axiomatic Divison takes second place!" There are a few cheers as their little group troops out on stage to acknowledge their win. Derek knows it's decent positioning, but it's not a win, and he's not getting that prize money.

 

A pit of disappointment settles in his stomach. He catches Casey's eye and knows, on some level, that she feels the same. She's as competitive as him, and even without needing the prize money, she would have wanted first.

 

There's a cash prize, too, for second place, but it's significantly less than first, and it won't be enough to absolve his debt.

 

First place is announced, but everything is a blur. Derek knows he congratulates them, and he knows at some point they make it back to his dorm, but everything else kind of fades away.

 

...

 

When he finally comes to, he's in his dorm. He's on the couch, Casey sitting across from him on the little table. "What?"

 

"I told you to stop worrying about it."

 

"How can I stop worrying about it?"

 

Casey sighs. She pats him on the knee, "It's going to be fine, Derek."

 

He doesn't see how, but he doesn't feel like fighting with Casey about it. Truth be told, he's a little hurt by how much she's  _not_ worrying about it.

 

This is Casey; all she does is worry about everything.

 

She worried when she thought Ryan was going to kick his ass.

 

She was worried when she found out that he'd gotten into enormous gambling debt.

 

She's always been worried, and now she's acting like it's no big deal that they lost the money that was supposed to help him out.

 

…

 

A week passes, and Derek has spent the entirety of it jumping at nothing. He keeps expecting Adam to appear, or to be grabbed walking through campus so Adam & Thugs can scare the shit out of him, and beat him into feeding their gambling habit in the hockey ring.

 

It doesn't come.

 

What does happen is, Casey scares the shit out of him while he's attempting to eat breakfast. Conscious that his days are numbered, Derek has been consuming massive amounts of breakfast (and then promptly puking his guts out as he waits for his impending beat down). He's in the middle of this new ritual when Casey drops into the seat across from him.

 

Derek doesn't notice her presence until she slams a copy of the school paper in front of him. He jumps, but Casey's in too good a mood to point it out to him. "No offense, Spacey, but I don't want to read your article." He does, actually, just as soon as he's done worrying about his doom, but it won't do for her to know that.

 

"Oh, I think you do."

 

Alright, maybe she does know. Derek arches a brow in her direction, and she slides the paper across the table to him. On principle, he won't look at it. Casey huffs and snatches it back. He thinks that will be the last of it, but then she turns it around and reads out loud, "'Kappas Kicked Off Campus: Alpha Kappa Psi no longer allowed on campus, and several key members expelled from Queen's' by Casey McDon--" she's cut off as Derek snatches the paper from her fingers.

 

She gives him a smug look, but he ignores it too busy reading through the article.

 

"How?" He asks when he's finally done. Casey gives him that same look she'd been giving him for months now, and he realizes maybe she was holding a secret after all. "how'd you get them disqualified from the contest?"

 

She smiles, "Ah, that."

 

His brows go up higher. "Yes, _that_." As if it's some trivial thing."

 

"Well, after you informed me of your predicament, I asked around. I learned a lot about the Kappas. And, you know I met with Adam several times about funding for the fraternity." He nods his confirmation.

 

"I learned a lot about them, about how they do this sort of thing a lot," she gestures to him as if that sums up the kind of thing they do. He debates being offended but opts to let her finish her story, instead. "During some of our meetings, Adam made it clear that he didn't want us to win the contest. I got the impression they would do a lot to make sure that we lost. So, I went on about the songs that I had written, how excited we were to perform originals, and that we only had a limited number to work with, so I wasn't sure what we would do if we couldn't get some of them down."

 

To say that Derek was surprised would be an understatement. Casey had never shown this kind of penchant for underhandedness in all the time he knew her. "The Casey I know," he says, his voice light, "doesn't know how to tell a lie."

 

"Well," she shrugs. "It wasn't really lying, it was an exaggeration of the truth," Derek has never been so proud, "and a bit of acting. Besides, there were more important things on the line."

 

"Go on."

 

She gives him a look but picks up the story, "I gave him ample opportunity to steal a song or two. Then, because I anticipated it, I e-mailed the director of the show ahead of time. I let him know a bit about the situation, and that I was worried because some of my original work was stolen. I had the originals, the e-mails from when I wrote them and sent them to my dad. They're all copyrighted. Anyway, they had a copy of all of my original songs. Then, one day when we were in the cafe, and you showed up, Adam ended up stealing one of my songs. Of course, we'd already settled on a set list then, so I couldn't insist we change it, so I insisted we get comfortable with a few extra songs."

 

Derek recalls the neurotic way that Casey had made them practice songs outside of their set list. He shakes his head. Even he had never suspected a thing.

 

"That was easy enough, really. I've spent enough time with you to be able to predict when someone is going to do something like steal my work, so I took advantage of that fact."

 

Derek taps the school paper, "and this?"

 

"Ah, well." She straightens up, and he can tell she's proud. "See, the school administration was not as of unaware of the situation as they made out to be. They couldn't prove it, of course, so there wasn't a lot they could do. No one would come forward," here she gives him a pointed look. "Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I actually knew about your problem before I 'found out.' I was at the party."

 

He blinks, and she continues. "I've known since then, that's why I got the job--I mean, I didn't get it  _for_ you; I was going to get a job, anyway, but I figured I'd be in a decent enough position to learn more about them. The whole thing gave me a bad taste, and I had an inkling that there was more to this friendly poker game than they let on."

 

"You _knew_?" He's not sure what's more surprising; that she had kept all of this from him, or that she'd done something useful about it.

 

Casey nods. "Yeah, but I knew if I said anything, you'd never let me help. I told you, Derek, I have your back." She pauses, letting it all soak in.

 

She manipulated them into stealing her music so she could get them disqualified, and she got the people who wanted to beat him to a pulp kicked out of school.

 

"I always knew you had it in you."

 

"What?" She asks, suspiciously.

 

"A devious mind."

 

He can tell she's pleased by the compliment, even as she rolls her eyes. "Long story short, I did a lot of digging, asked a lot of questions, talked to a few people who are no longer at Queen's, and got enough information to get the fraternity kicked off campus, and the primary problem guys expelled."

 

The words slip out before he can really think about them. "I could kiss you right now."

 

When he realizes what he says, his eyes go wide. He waits for the 'ew!' or the 'gross!' or some kind of brush off that would usually accompany a comment like that. Casey surprises him by saying, "About time." He's not sure what his face is saying, but it must be something along the lines of confusion because she clarifies, "It's about time that you kiss me."

 

She can't possibly think what he thinks she means. She has to mean her usual (sick) desire for a Feel Good Family Moment, a simple kiss on the cheek, but she's still looking at him. He can see the tilt of her head, the glint in her eye; all indicating the issuance of a challenge.

 

Derek's never been one to turn down a challenge from Casey, so he leans across the wide table and kisses her full on the mouth.

 

Her hands tangle in his hair, and she kisses him back. When they separate, he's still leaning across the table, and his eyes are closed. "Derek," she breathes.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Does this mean you're done being in denial?"

 

He pretends to think about it, and when he hears the sharp intake of breath as she's about to berate him does he answer. "Only if it means you haven't given up on me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Bring Me to Life - Evanescence. One more chapter to go!


	10. Chapter 10

They make out (and then some) in his dorm, and in hers.

 

They make out at parties.

 

They make out in the Prince.

 

They even make out in the library!

 

Derek likes to think that he still has a Strict No PDA rule, but it's so hard to keep from reaching out and touching Casey, that he has to wonder why he ever had the stupid rule in the first place.

 

What doesn't happen, however, is  _ The Talk _ , you know the one that starts with a Casey freak out, and is followed by 'we really shouldn't be doing this' followed by another Casey freak out because he has a reputation. Casey doesn't do casual dating, she doesn't go with the flow; Casey has long-term, serious relationships.

 

It never comes.

 

Every now and then, he catches her looking at him out of the corner of his eye, and he thinks, 'this is it.' He braces himself, even has a come back ready on the tip of his tongue. Then, Casey leans over and offers to cook for him.

 

It's not that he wants the commitment, because Derek Venturi has always shied away from serious relationships, but he doesn't recognize this Casey, and that's what makes him nervous.

 

(It has nothing to do with the fact that he's wanted her -- this -- for so long, and he's terrified that this is just a rebellious phase for Casey while for him it's... it's so much more).

 

They're in the community kitchen of his building. Casey's hair is mussed (she either doesn't know or doesn't care -- either of which elicits a fond smile from her... lover? Boyfriend? Partner? The last one makes him gag, but this is why he's frustrated, he's not even sure what to refer to her as anymore!); she's standing at the stove, humming quietly and stirring something in a pot.

 

Derek is leaning against one of the counters, not watching Casey be all domestic. His phone rings, and he answers without glancing at it. "Hello?"

 

"Derek," it's his dad.

 

"Hey, dad."

 

Casey's shoulder tense; this was the other thing that he thought would come up during  _ The Talk _ . At some point, they're going to have to address their situation and what they're going to do about it.

 

Now that he has Casey, knows that she was (hopefully. Arguably.) talking about him all this time with references to her mystery guy, he's not ready to let her go. At some point, this is going to come tumbling down if they don't figure some things out.

 

Derek suddenly wishes for a drink, because it seems more and more likely that he's going to be the one to have to initiate the conversation. It’s not like he hasn’t given her ample opportunity to bring it up. She’s either been oblivious to his hints, or blatantly ignoring them.

 

It makes him nauseous. In what world is Derek Venturi the one to bring up exclusivity and relationship terms? It's just hard to go with the flow when you're not sure how much longer the flow will stick around.

 

Derek wants permanency, and now that he's done living in denial, he's ready to tackle this thing, head on.

 

"Derek, are you even listening?"

 

"Sorry, what did you say?"

 

George sighs. "Can you please step away from your current girl, and pay attention for a moment?"

 

Derek grimaces. "Sure, dad." He doesn't turn away from Casey. He's too busy watching the tension in her shoulders. He wants to reach out to her, but something tells him that doing so right now wouldn't go over very well.

 

He's already having enough trouble paying enough attention to get the gist of the reason for his dad's call. "... birthday party, and you know she wants you there."

 

"Uh, yeah."

 

"So, you'll be here." Then Derek realizes: he's calling about Marti's birthday, telling him about her birthday party.

 

"Yeah, we'll be there." It's a slip of the tongue.

 

"We?" His dad sounds surprised. Derek huffs.

 

"Yeah. You know Casey," she turns to look at him, "is going to want to be there as well."

 

"Do you think she'll be free?"

 

"It's Marti's birthday, and this is Casey we're talking about. Of course, she'll be free."

 

"And you're going to be coming... together?"

 

Derek blinks at his dad's confusion. "Yeah. Unless you'd rather one of us take the bus?"

 

"No, no, of course not. It's just... I didn't think you'd want to offer." Derek can picture his dad scratching his head. "I thought we'd have to bribe you to bring her with you, or she'd have to bribe you."

 

"Well, don't tell her I've already agreed, and I'm sure I can get something out of her for my generosity." Casey's lips quirk into a smile, and Derek pictures the things that he might be rewarded with.

 

"Alright, we'll see you next weekend, then?"

 

Derek confirms, then he's quick to get off the phone. "Casey." She's turned back to the stove, but she turns when he calls her, plate in hand.

 

"Spaghetti?"

 

"Casey, we really need--"

 

"Cheese!"

 

"What?"

 

"We really need cheese. I forgot the cheese. We can't have spaghetti without cheese!"

 

She sets the place down and tries to dart past him, but Derek grabs her elbow.

 

"Casey,"

 

"The cheese, Derek!"

 

"Casey, the cheese can wait." Sometimes he can't believe the ridiculous conversations he gets into. "We need to talk."

 

Her face crumples, and he can already see the beginnings of tears. He knew that there might be some trouble with this conversation, but he hadn't expected it to happen so soon!

 

…

 

To her credit, Casey doesn't start crying right away. Her shoulders slump, and she stops her desperate dash for cheese. Instead, she rearranges the table for dinner. Derek watches her, feeling oddly detached for a moment. "Casey,"

 

She waves a hand at him. "Yes, yes. I know. We need to talk." She makes a face, and he wonders at the situation where he's trying to have a serious, adult conversation and Casey is practicing avoidance. "Just, can we eat?"

 

"I'm never going to turn down food." Especially during a hard conversation.

 

They sit down. Derek digs into the pasta; Casey pokes at her food with her fork. She takes a deep breath (and he thinks,  _ finally _ ), "Derek," out goes the air. "I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

 

He blinks, then finishes chewing. "Uhh. Okay?" That's promising. He thought this conversation was going to be more difficult the way she's been going the past few weeks. Casey sets her fork down, then gestures for him to go ahead.

 

Apparently, they're not going to do the eat while they talk thing. He gives his spaghetti a longing look before putting his own fork. "Casey--"

 

She cuts him off, "I'm surprised you let it go on this long as it is."

 

He stops what he was going to say, surprised. "You are?" Was he so predictable?

 

Casey nods, narrowing her eyes at him. "I should have known, really. What Derek wants, Derek gets, right?"

 

"Uhh, right?"

 

"Of course," she continues as if he hadn't spoken. "Once he gets what he wants,  he's so quick to toss it to the side as soon as something different -- different, Derek, not better -- comes along." He blinks, confused. What? "Well, fine, if you want to break up, that's just  _ fine _ ." She shoves away from the table, and before Derek can comprehend what the hell just happened, she's gone.

 

He's still sitting there when Jackson shows up a minute later. Derek's replaying the conversation in his head, trying to figure out where their wires got crossed.

 

"That plate for me?" Jackson asks, pointing to Casey's untouched plate.

 

"Uh, sure." Derek stands, suddenly realizing he just let Casey  _ walk away _ .

 

"Where are you going?"

 

Derek ignores him, running from the room.

 

…

 

Ten minutes later he's standing on the other side of Casey's dorm room, breathing heavily. He takes another minute to catch his breath, then he pounds on the door. She yanks it open, eyes pink and puffy from crying. Derek runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "Casey," his voices cracks on her name, and she sniffs.

 

He pulls her into his arms, sighing. "You're crazy, you know that?" She bristles, but he just holds tighter.

 

"What do you want?" Her voice is muffled against his chest, and the weird, aching feeling in his chest eases. "To talk, but this time, let me finish what I'm saying. Okay, princess?"

 

She nods, and he lets her go, chuckling. "Did you really think running for cheese was going to prevent a breakup?" Casey's eyes narrow, and she hits him in the arm. Probably not the best way to start off, but he can't help but be amused.

 

"Let me get one thing clear, Casey. I'm not breaking up with you."

 

Her mouth opens in a small o, and he laughs again. "Der _ ek _ ! What kind of person says 'we need to talk' when they're not about to break up."

 

At least now he knows where he went wrong. "Even if I wanted to break up with you, it's kind of hard to do when you're not in a relationship."

 

"I -- what?"

 

This is not at all going the way he wants. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Derek closes his eyes. "I wanted to ask you what you want; I want to know what this," he gestures between the two of them with his free hand, "is to you."

 

Casey snorts. "Yeah, you look like you really want to know."

 

"This isn't easy for me! God, Case." Deep breath and his eyes open so he can look at her. "I've wanted you for so long; I've tried denying what I want, and I never thought it would be the same for you."

 

"Derek, I was incredibly transparent. Everyone but you knew."

 

He waves her off. "I wasn't ready to face my f-f-" he chokes, and she glares at him. "Bad joke, sorry. I wasn't ready to face my feelings, okay."

 

"I know."

 

"But now I am. I want you, this, us. I want to be able to think of you as my girlfriend in my head. Hell, I'm even willing to celebrate stupid monthaversaries." He pauses, briefly, before rambling on. "I'm not saying I'm going to write you love songs, and I'll never be the perfect boyfriend you daydreamed about in high school," she snorts, and he ignores her. "But being with you is more real than that shit, anyway. I hope you can see that."

 

"Derek, I figured that out a long time ago, and I still want to be with you."

 

He wasn't aware he'd been holding his breath, but he lets out a relieved sigh. "I just needed to know that."

 

"You thought I've been rejecting you?"

 

"Casey, you are the Queen of Monogamy. I know the way dating works with you. There's the pre-dating period, the dating period, the period of official coupledom. None of that happened with me; what was I supposed to think, except that this was temporary for you?"

 

She blinks, "Derek." She makes a frustrated noise. He can't help but think if they'd had this conversation sooner, it would have saved them both a lot of frustration. "I was-- you are important, okay? But I know you! I know you better than anyone. You're afraid of commitment, and I wasn't about to think that just because you'll kiss me in public means that this is more permanent. It took you long enough to acknowledge anything between us, I didn't..." her voice sounds small. "I didn't want to scare you away."

 

In this new, uncertain dynamic, they'd both been trying to navigate how they were supposed to act. "Can we just go back to being Derek and Casey?" He asks, tiredly.

 

Casey stiffens, and he's quick to cut in. "Still together, and dating, but can we start behaving like Derek and Casey. You want to over analyze everything and benchmark the moment we're officially in a relationship, so do it. Just because we're dating doesn't mean we have to act like different people."

 

He moves to wrap an arm around her, and she relaxes against him. "Okay," she agrees. Derek smiles (and he keeps on smiling, even as she unloads everything she’s been holding in for weeks).

 

…

  
  


An hour (and some making up) later, they're laying on Casey's bed staring at the ceiling. She isn't curled around him, but her hand is in his. "Are we going to tell them?"

 

"Eventually."

 

Her hand tightens around his. "What do you think will happen? George..." she bites her lip, "at Thanksgiving he seemed..."

 

Derek returns the squeeze. "I know." He thinks about the face his father makes. "We won't worry about it next weekend. We'll go, we'll be ourselves, we'll celebrate Marti's birthday, and we'll figure out a way to tell them." He closes his eyes.

 

"Maybe we should wait until after the summer."

 

Derek tries to picture sneaking around with Casey all summer and knows that it's going to be impossible. Worst case scenario, they tell their parents, and they're banned from the house away from their siblings with nowhere to go. Sucky, but better would be telling their parents and them laying a lot of ground rules that make it difficult to reach over and take Casey's hand in the company of their family. "Yeah."

 

There's no decent solution.

 

…

 

As luck will have it, they don't need to wait until after the summer to come clean to their parents. The decision is taken out of their hands. They make it through the weekend of Marti's party fine. They finish up the semester with a few more gigs and incredibly clean rooms around finals.

 

Then, it's home for the summer. They spend more time than Derek is willing to admit talking about what they want to do, but ultimately decide on keeping things quiet. Casey's too afraid of what their parents will say (Derek is too afraid of what Casey will do if they don't approve).

 

Midsummer is when they have the problem. The first few weeks go by fine. There's too much going on for anyone to notice anything out of the ordinary. Casey claims to be heading to hang out with Emily, and Derek claims to be visiting Sam. Instead, they go to a movie together.

 

Overall it's not the ideal situation. Sometimes Derek wants to reach out and pull Casey to him, but he has to refrain, and that's taking some practice. It's better than what he had expected, however.

 

They're walking out of the movie, hand in hand. Derek decided that while they may not be ready to tell their family, he's not worried about anyone else who might find out if they run into someone they know.

 

He doesn't anticipate running into their family.

 

Casey's hand is in his, and she's leaning on him, whispering something in his ear. He's mid-laugh when he sees them. There's his dad, arm around Nora, with Edwin, Lizzie, and Marti. Nora seems a little surprised, Edwin and Lizzie look amused, and Marti looks pleased. George is turning a curious shade of purple. Derek knows what they look like, but he's still trying to find a way to explain it away.

 

"Derek," Casey senses his distraction and leans away. She turns forward, and then she sees what he sees. "Oh my god. Shit!" If it was any other situation, he might have found the fact that she's cursing amusing.

 

There's a period where no one really does anything. The family continues to stare at them. Casey and Derek continue to stand and stare back. Finally, Casey huffs, "Oh, this is ridiculous." She sounds tough and brave, but he can feel her trembling beside him. She drags him across the lobby until they're standing in front of their parents. "What are you here to see?" Casey asks, brightly, as if they hadn't just outed themselves to their family.

 

"Are you  _ holding hands _ ?" George asks, sounding scandalized. Derek kind of wishes the earth will open up and swallow him whole. Of course, it doesn't. On the bright side, at least they were caught doing the most innocent thing they've done together.

 

Casey looks her mom square in the eye, "Derek and I are together." She stands tall, shoulders back, and Derek has never been more in l-like with his girlfriend. He knows her sense of duty to her mother, her craving to be liked and respected, and her desire to do the right thing. The fact that she's willing to stand up for this...

 

He's not sure how long it will last, almost certain that Casey will cave, but the initial gesture means the world.

 

"It was kind of inevitable if you really think about it," she continues. She's rambling now, nervous. Casey glances over at him, and Derek figures he has to say something.

 

Before he can speak, his dad grumbles something at Nora. Derek almost can't believe his ears.

 

...

 

It turns out that George's grimaces, and near choking had more to do with the fact that he was upset that Nora knew his son better and had predicted this a long time ago. He thought it would take much longer for them to get their act together.

 

The whole family (like everyone else) had known, and it was just a matter of waiting. "It was hard to wrap my head around, at first," George acknowledged, "but time and time again, you two proved to be what's best for one another."

 

There are ground rules like he expected, but all in all, it's not as bad as he thought. Derek toes the line, but that's to be expected, and he follows the rules closer than anyone expected of him (he's not willing to mess this up). Not everyone in their lives is nearly accepting, but they make out better than he'd ever hoped they would. Casey, too, seems happy with the end result.

 

Derek still can't wait until the end of the summer where he can pull her in his arms properly, but he can live with what he has for the time being.

 

They keep up with Axiomatic Division the following year, on the promise that Derek won't incur any more gambling debts. He agrees. They also compete in the Battle of the Bands again, and this time without the pressure of needing to win, Derek enjoys the experience a lot more. They get second place again, but Casey's grinning at him and there's a sparkle in her eye, and he finds he's alright with that.

 

It was a shot in the dark that starting a band would get him out of the trouble he'd found himself in; Derek never dreamed he'd get so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Thanks for everyone who read, reviewed, followed, etc. It's been awhile since I've been able to finish a project, so finishing something as small as this makes me very happy! Even better is knowing that there are people out there who enjoyed my work.
> 
> Special thanks to OddlyEnigmatic; I can't tell you enough how your thoughtful comments made writing this that much more enjoyable.
> 
> For those of you who are also following/reading Serenity, I'm still going to be continuing to update that one. However, as I've mentioned before bar prep time is here, so I have to spend a majority of my time dedicated to that. I'll make time to post every now and then so no one is waiting three months for the next chapter, but I can't guarantee weekly posts like I have been.
> 
> I also have a lot of ideas for new stories, so if you're interested keep an eye out for that going forward; I've got an entire folder, a list, and a ton of text messages to myself all with vague story outlines, story starts, and general ideas and prompts.
> 
> Until the bar exam is over, though, I probably won't be starting anything new, and will focus on finishing Serenity and working on Finding Eden (which is oen of the few none LWD stories I've got running--and probably the closest thing to an original story that I've got going right now). This note is far longer than I intended, but all this to say that there is more to come and I hope some of you will check out my future stuff. :>


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